I sat in bed, meditating on my journey which is life. I asked myself, what am I doing here? What answers do I expect to find facing the center of my room listening to the sounds of the night? I focused on the pace of my breathing furiously. I felt such a great intensity burning inside, like resting between concentration and rage. There were times where I felt as if I could slice the world in two with my mind.

Time passed, and I heard the sounds of roaring engines blazing down the road. I could almost feel the air change as the furnace fans activated. The clock continued to tick relentlessly. My legs ached, my back complained, my hands were locked into position, and sleep was slamming at my eyelids.

Then, it struck me. Like providence the answer was made clear. I was stunned, all I could do was cringe in the dark silence. I could not even gasp a single sound. I realized that what I sought was not going to be given in sporadic attempts at mental clarity. I must prepare myself for the worst imaginable and carry burdens like no other! This world must be broken and crushed and I must will it! DESTROY!

The lamp which sat over my head, once the provider of honest, warm, life-giving light in both the good and bad times, fell on my head.

My once reliable guardian has now become a deadly enemy. It hovers over my bed and watches over me while I dream restlessly. Its intent is no longer clear to me. I will slay this creature, raze its supply lines, burn its bridges, and crush its supporters. And, should all these efforts be the result of a misunderstanding, repair it later. But, until I get to extract my vengeance, it sits there, atop my rack, looking down on me with its one big incandescent bulb.