I’m walking into this big building with Tall Glass Windows and right in the entrance there’s what looks to be a turnstile from a train station. I’m nervous and scared but something is telling me to continue on into the strange building. Once I get past the first door I see someone up ahead holding  another door. The person holding the second door has their back to me but they feel so familiar.

I stop walking. My body stiffens. I involuntarily hold my breath and stop blinking.

At that moment, the person holding the door with their back to me says,

“Don’t be afraid just walk through the door”.

The sweetest, most angelic, safest voice I’ve ever heard in my life.  Almost immediately I begin to cry as I walked slowly to the door.

“Don’t cry, you got this I promise”

Right as I reached for the door I woke up from the Dream with my eyes and pillow wet.

The tears continued as I closed my eyes trying to continue the dream. Trying to see the face of that sweet, angelic safe voice. Trying to see who I knew had to be my twin sister.

Exactly one week after having that dream, I went to a graduate school informational at Hunter College Silberman School of Social Work in Harlem.

I turned on 119th street and walked into the big building with tall glass windows and stopped in my tracks. I stopped breathing and stopped blinking as I looked at two turnstiles in front of me (to swipe school id cards). I immediately realized why everything seemed so familiar even though I’ve NEVER stepped inside of this building or even knew it existed. It was the exact building from my dream.

One month later, I was invited to partake in a group interview and 2 weeks after that, I was sent an admissions letter to the #16th  ranked social work program amongst 206 colleges. Even though I was also offered admission to NYU and Rutgers University I knew where I belonged.

This was one of the many realistic dreams that I’ve had along the years.

A dream where I could feel every emotion, hear every sound and see every color.

A dream that has a sense of familiarity to it that you can’t quite put your finger on until after you have awaken.

For some, those dreams happen once in a blue. However, for me it happens more than I would like.

Whenever I am at a cross roads in my life, which seems to be every other Monday :/, I have one of these super realistic dreams where I am met with advice or sometimes even just a feeling of understanding and relaxation.  My sister may not be here in physical form but someway somehow she finds me and helps me along my journey.

Don’t get me wrong, it sounds insane!!! How can I dream of a place that I’ve never been?

I remember when I would explain my dreams to my parents. I would always tell them how disappointed I was because I never get to see her face in the dreams. She is always close but facing away from me or very far away and looking directly at me however somehow I know it is her. It’s just that feeling you get when you are around positive angelic vibes. Even though I always begin the dream scared and anxious somehow all of that goes away and I feel so secure.

The best part of my day is that millisecond after I wake from my sleep before I open my eyes when I’m caught in-between two worlds. Those milliseconds are everything to me because as naive as it sounds I feel as if I have snuck her into my world with me. I feel as if I beat the system and I defied the odds. I feel so accomplished until I open my eyes and realize the truth.

At that moment I have to try to remember everything that happened. Was it just a dream? Could it all have been real? I try to remember as much as possible before it slowly starts to fade. I start forgetting details and then I start realizing how inconsistent the events actually were.

“Wait how did I get to the school? What was I wearing?  Was there a unicorn outside the window?”

Small details start to unravel and I am forced to admit that as real as it felt, it was only a dream, figment of my imagination. I hold on to the happiness I feel when I hear her voice while feeling the pain of knowing that It will never actually happen.

My sister lives in my dreams and my hopes. She pushes me and shows me the way. The dreams I have that feature her, always guide me in a direction that is positively reinforced. Good always follows when she is involved and I am eternally grateful. I lost my heart but gained an angel.

For the past few nights my dreams have been incredibly vivid. From hearing birds chirping to feeling raindrops fall from above. I know I am at yet another crossroads and as nervous as I am, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Greatness is always on the other end of fear and with the help of my angel I am ready.

You’ve been an amazing crowd! Get home safely,

-Otivia