Everyone fantasizes about something that seems completely Crazy, for whatever reason. There's always that fantasy about winning the lottery and what you would do, if money just wasn't a consideration. Of course, I have that fantasy, which is why I play both Power Ball and Mega Millions, even though I know my chances of winning are like one in a bazillion...BUT, there's at least a chance. And, there is my slightly less extreme fantasy of going to the airport and booking a ticket to anywhere that sounds like a good idea in the moment. Well, lately, I been having some other "crazy" thoughts.
Leading up to this weekend, I had a goal of getting a couple of hikes in, since I had three days off of work because of the holiday. Somehow, two hikes turned into four, beginning with a three mile one after work on Friday. So, four hikes and over 18 miles later, I am feeling more and more adventurous, especially when one of the hikes was flooded at the 4th mile and I had to divert, cross a bridge of railroad tracks, cut through dense vegetation, and hop a fence to get to my car. Luckily, I only have minor wounds because of it. Being on the trails gave me a lot of time to think, though, and this girl, who has never been athletic nor hardcore "outdoorsy", is feeling a crazy desire to Hike the Appalachian Trail. A couple years ago, I read a book called "Skywalker" that was a true story about a guy with zero hiking experience, other than he would take really long walks to and from work. He suddenly decided he wanted to complete a thru hike of the Appalachian Trail. The book sucked me in and, at times, I even felt a brief pang that it would be kinda cool to do. Then my rational brain would take over, as I recalled Skywalker's description of the sometimes difficult and horrible parts that would make me terrified of such an experience. For someone like me, the idea was absolutely crazy, as I sat in my king sized bed in my yuppie house in the burbs, with all my modern conveniences. And, you don't (or really shouldn't) hike the Appalachian Trail on a whim. But, now I am having those crazy thoughts.
No, I can't devote months to a thru hike because neither my job nor my love of spending time with my kids and needing to be their mom would allow it. It doesn't rule out doing it someday, but it does rule out doing it now. And, a thru hike is a totally different beast than what I have been doing on my weekends of late, so I am not trying to get in over my head yet. But, people hike sections of the trail all the time, and that might be something within my grasp. However, I do have some hurdles to overcome and one of them I am a bit embarrassed to admit. But, since, I am putting a fair amount of my life and thoughts out there for anyone to read about, well, who cares; I am out to prove less and less to anyone else and do what I need to for me, anyways. I was mentally scarred when I was 15 years old and visiting a friend in Greece. This sounds so dramatic, but I can still see the entire night play out in my head and that was 25 years ago, so it seems to qualify. We went with her boyfriend and four college kids, whom I had just met, to a small mountaintop somewhere in Athens to camp for the night. It was beautiful. We had the fire going, were laughing and hanging out, and then the older girls headed to relieve themselves. Well, the older boys thought it would be hilarious to scare them in the middle of them doing their business. I heard the screams, and the guys were laughing, as the girls came running back to the fire. My friend thought nothing of it and figured it was our turn to find an appropriate shrub, but all I kept thinking was I would have my pants around my ankles and college guys would see me half naked. I froze up and ended up not going to the bathroom for the next 18 and a half hours. It's amazing my bladder didn't explode by the time I ran into my friend's house to use her bathroom, when we returned the next afternoon. Ever since then, I have avoided it altogether and just plan accordingly. So, yes, that's correct, I have never peed outside. I mean, I have gone to the bathroom in port-a-potties and in an outhouse type structure at a camp when I was a kid. But, if we are talking squatting and going by a tree or behind a bush...nope, it hasn't happened yet. So, there's that. (And, I feel like I should add something in here to sound way cooler than I am and point out I have thrown back shots of whiskey (when paid for by someone else, of course, because I hate whiskey), or laid 60 bags of mulch that weighed 45 pounds each...but I know it still doesn't change the fact that I haven't peed in the great outdoors.)
There's also an issue in that I have never backpacked, camped out over night, and then continued backpacking the next day. The most I have done is bring a backpack with some water and maybe a couple granola bars, which I typically don't end up eating, hiked for a few hours, and then gone home. Now, you are starting to see why I say I am having crazy thoughts. They are crazy for someone like me. I am having some other ones, too, though I will talk about them at a later time. It doesn't mean I can't follow through on these thoughts, but if I want to advance my goals, I know I probably can't do everything entirely on my own; that is the scariest part for me because it means putting my trust into others and letting them help me. I am not sure I am ready for that, and I don't know when or if I will be anytime in the near future. Do I want to sleep out in the woods by myself on my first backpacking trip? Ideally no, but right now I am not sure any of my close, existing friends would be too eager to join me for that type of weekend away. Regardless, I am hoping by next Spring to see where all this takes me...I truly have no idea at the moment. But, this is an adventure, of sorts, and it is okay to figure some things out along the way. I should probably knock out the whole "peeing in the wilderness thing" first, too.
