Good evening! I hope you’re well and the start of your week has been good.

I turned 21 yesterday! Crazy stuff. And yes – I had a wonderful day thank you!

Today’s post is a mummy post. It’s a bit of a rant mixed with Advice for new or to-be mummy’s but it’ll also be a decent read for people who are not mummy’s or to be mummy’s too. Maybe even a bit of an eye opener for some people out there. But then again, maybe not.

When I announced my pregnancy I was flooded with congratulations. Everyone seemed so happy for me (well… nearly everyone, some people were a smidge dramatic and claimed I’d ruined their life…) but the vast majority were really happy for me and told me I’d make a great mummy. Which was really nice.

This lasted about a week.

Then all of a sudden the world was full of ‘helpful tips’ and ‘useful advice’ that actually just came across in a bitchy, judgemental way and I am not normally one to give two hoots what people think or say about me but with hormones playing games with my brain, some things got to me.

Suddenly everything I wanted to do was wrong “and dreadfully so” and whenever I mentioned that I wasn’t going to breast feed I was “basically ruining the child’s life” it was a very tricky time and very hard to feel happy and comfortable with all the comments and advice I was being so helpfully forced into accepting.

Motherhood, and the thought of motherhood during your pregnancy, is a haunting thought already without the terror of other people opinions on top of that. The idea of bringing a tiny human being into the messed up, cruel world and then having to be able to provide healthy food and a bed and clothes and nappies and bottles and shoes and schooling and god knows what else is a really daunting prospect. Once which I tried not to think of much until I actually gave birth.

It turns out that giving birth is the easy bit. Because after he/she is here so is the opportunity for people to nitpick. People find the time to tell you that Sleep Training is bad and sleep training is the best. Baby Led Feeding and parent led feeding are the single most important thing to remember. Breast feeding, and bottle feeding, is the only successful way to feed a baby. People wonder why mums have headaches all the time – it’s not because of the sleepless nights and bawling children it’s because of other mums! Constantly forcing their methods and cures for anything and everything that could possibly happen or go wrong.

Now I’m not the sort of person to be phased by all this advice flying at me at 60mph but for some first time mummy’s this can be a terrifying and very off putting experience. Surely, mums, we’re meant to be encouraging and praising other mummy’s and helping them out WHEN and IF they ask for help.

The thing is folks, there really isn’t always a right and wrong. The way I get my daughter to sleep may not be the way my friend or neighbour does it but that doesn’t my way less right it just makes it my way.

Motherhood – and fatherhood – is hard. It’s really hard. But there are so many ways to do it and they’re all right if they work for you.

There are no secrets. There are no tricks or tactics to make perfect little girls and boys.

There is just love.

There are so few words of wisdom I can hand on to other mummy’s and to-be mummy’s because no other mummy is ever going to have my baby and so my ways may not work for them.

So whatever you’ve got to do to get through the day with your children in one piece and your sanity at least 25% in tact – you do it mummy’s.

And to the mummy’s offering too much advice for their own good – be nice to other mummy’s, this stuff is hard and we ladies gotta stick together – we don’t need to make it harder for anyone.

Be kind. Always be kind.