This year we hosted our 9th annual 321 Christmas party.  The title: "Our Hard-on Will Go On."  It was Titanic themed to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the film as well as our success in avoiding eviction.  We thought that 2016 was going to be out "Last Christmas."  But we'll never let go.  The Photo booth was pretty epic, but I'll save that for another post.

After posting this picture I noticed that other gaysian groups that I follow on social media began to post their own large group photos holding up gifts along side a sprinkle of women and white folks.

Each group probably complaining about their white elephant gift.  Each group excited when someone brings chicken McNuggets.  Each group happy to see each other in an environment that's not heteronormative or white gay mainstream in which their token-ness is apparent.   They can finally take off their masks.  Looking at these group photos makes me feel as though we all follow a script.  And that even though we're trying to live unique lives, fight stereotypes (some more than others), there's just a lot that's predictable.

I have a nickname for each group... like the EDC gaysians, the Rolodex gaysians, the bay gaysians etc.  each with their own issues involving drugs, over partying, body dysmorphia, mental health, dating drama, family disconnection, complacency, insecurity.   Intersectional issues that involve being both gay and Asian in which the only way to feel "normal" is to have these sort of gatherings so that we can reassure each other that we're doing just fine because we're all struggling.

Anyway, everyone loves a good white elephant.. usually not for the gift you receive but for the drama to unfold in front of you during the game.  And being with people that get it is like being with family which is especially needed during the holidays.