hate is strong
but thats what i feel towards drama
i hate being a girl
i wish all my friends were guys
i wish i was a dude
or that i could find people who felt the same way about drama
but if i found different people then i wouldn't have the friends i have
and i love the friends i have
even though they get on my nerves
i love them
they make me laugh and smile and cry but
at the end of the day i am thankful for them and grateful i have them
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doubt
sometimes i think it is so sure
other times im not sure at all
i want to be set on something
but its hard
i wish i could know what i am feeling
if i knew how to describe it and leave the doubts behind i would
but im scared and unsure
it scares me to be unsure i think if i knew how sure you are it would not help
i have to put my doubts aside
and think about what i truly want
and what truly makes me happy
and its you.
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im always wishing
wishing for more
wishing for less
wishing for change
wishing for it to remain the same
but why am i wishing
am i unhappy? no im not i know for a fact i am not
but why
it might just be because its who i am and there is no changing that
i am a girl who loves to wish and dream
always wanting to be somewhere unattainable and unimaginable
i also know for a fact that one day
i will look back on my life and think
i want to go back to right here this moment in my life where i was young and happy
care free without problems
or at least problems that are not so big
but what if i could never have problems that are so big
or if i could just handle them with grace and never be stressed about them
would i be happy
would i have cheated life
or is this just another dream
its healthy to dream right?
being suck in reality all the time must be tiring but then again i am never really in reality that long so i would have no clue what its like
i wish i knew
see another wish
i guess i am always unconsciously wishing
thats life though
always wishing for better and never getting it
or having the wish be a goal that can never be achieved
something that you will never amount to
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i wanna cry but just to let it out
not cause im sad
just cause i feel like i should in order to be better tomorrow
and to cleanse myself in a way