Dear God,

I apologize for mocking at your disabilities and multiple abilities in my previous article (here) while explaining about the hardships you went through for enrolling yourself for an Aadhar card.

I recently watched a movie clip where your favourite comedian Vadivelu takes his ration card instead of his horoscope to a fortune-teller to check whether he will get a good girl to get married. And finally guess what happens.. As usual, our comedian gets thrashed by the fortune teller and will be cursed to remain without marriage for his stupidity.

Dear God !! why are you laughing? This might be a funny scene for you. But I am afraid that the AADHAR concept by Indian government might result in a similar kind of scenario in the future for us.

Government is forcing its citizens to link everything to Aadhar in order to govern the country better and to pass the benefits to the entitled. But like Vadivelu in above movie, there will come a moment in future where our personal details like DOB, Blood group, bank accounts, taxes, address, property, loan amount, phone number, number of phone numbers, number of children, no of wives/husbands.. everything.. everything.. will be available just within a click of AADHAAR.

If we want to apply for any job, no need for 10^th class mark sheet, graduation certificate, birth certificate.. Aadhar is enough.. It will reveal your History, Geography, Economics, Biology, Zoology and Mathematics.

Dear God, if you do not get angry, I will tell you one thing. You are the most stupid person I know.

My dear beautiful GOD..,,,, Are you still in an impression that you are the cleverest of all because you have created us? If you are, then please go and stand in front of your dressing table mirror and laugh at yourself. If you want a bigger mirror then go to GRT jewelers in T Nagar or wash room of LUXE at Phoenix Market City in Velachery. If you want 360 degree view of yourself to laugh, then go to trail room of any shopping mall. If you are lazy enough to go that far, then open your smart phone’s front camera and laugh at yourself. Because there is no stupid person than you.

Let me explain your stupidity. You have created millions of living organisms on this earth. But why did you give the capacity to think, analyze and act to human beings? You gave us the power to think and we became cleverer than you. So, you are stupid.

I will give you three reasons to show that we are cleverer than you.

1. We have enrolled ourselves for Aadhar with much enthusiasm completely ignorant of its ruthless potential. Of course, I confess that I felt very proud and boasted with my friends when I enrolled for Aadhar in the summer of 2011. I am one of the first batch of citizens in the entire country to enroll for Aadhar because my state Andhra Pradesh luckily stood on the top in Alphabetical order of states (never in any social development indicator) and my hometown/constituency belonged to then Congress Chief Minister.
2. We believed in populism and sent Narendra Modi to Delhi anticipating Acche Din.. But he gave us two blockbuster bonanzas. Demonetization and GST (Goods and Services Tax). WE ARE VERY PROUD OF THAT.

The next one is the most defining characteristic which proves that we are cleverer than you.

3. We realized that Aadhar hinders our privacy very lately and scream about it like anything all the day. On the other hand, at night we happily give away all our details in Facebook, Google, Amazon and Microsoft as if these corporations are the torchbearers of privacy and we trust them with our personal data.

Dear God, I have a complaint against your favorite devotee, Mr. Narendra Modi.

He made 500 and 1000 rupee notes invalid in November last year.. He requested us to embrace digital technologies and kept on shouting the words DIGITAL INDIA and CASHLESS ECONOMY more loudly than the vendors in my home town Madanapalle’s world largest tomato market. The chants of ‘GOVINDA GOVINDA GOVINDA’ in Tirumala have become dwarfed before the noise made by RBI and Mr. MODI. My Digital Signal Processing subject in the 6^th semester of my graduation was more understandable than this Digital India concept. The number of cognitive rules and regulations of RBI after demonetization were more than the rules we used to have while playing gully cricket in my childhood.

And God,, here is my complaint.. Few days after demonetization, there were heavy rains in Chennai and a fierce cyclone Varadah attacked us. As a result there was no power, no internet, no ATM for one week.  POS machines were dead and no card swipes anywhere.. I had no money and my flat mates had no money, we didn’t have enough stock of food and so we starved for a day. What’s the use of being employed, earning salary and living in a metropolitan city if you are unable to fill your stomach? What is this??

Dear God, in my workplace if anything new is implemented, it should be done perfectly. If anything goes wrong after implementation, my manager and client will do break dance upon our backs. They will be so much worried as if the global economy is melting down due to our careless action. If such kind of care and analysis are done to implement such a minute thing, imagine what should have been done while going with a massive idea like demonetization?  Your another old, clever and silent disciple Mr. Manmohan Singh said, demonetization was a monumental disaster. I agree with him.

One day, I was walking down the road at my home and one young man came in a bike and asked me how to go to Chengalpattu. I told him to take right at the next signal and travel for 15km and near Vandalur, take left and drive on GST road for another 15 km. That man was surprised and asked, “Arey Bhayya !! GST road? Aap Goods and Services Tax ki bare me baath kar rahe hai? “

God, just tell me.. What should I do with this idiot? GST – Grand Southern Trunk Road has been well known in Chennai for decades. But this senseless idiot ignored what I told and only uploaded the GST into his brain which I am afraid was empty shell of vacuum.

Aadhar, demonetization and GST initially seemed to be revolutionary ideas, but turned into nightmare for us. These are the three mistakes of the decade.

Now God,,please help me with handling this society. You gifted us books like The Geetha, Mahabharat, Bible etc.. But we never read it. We don’t even read our text books. Indians follow only important questions and previous year question papers. How can you expect us to read your gigantic books? Please God, help me and shower your blessing upon us. And also teach your favorite student Mr, Narendra Modi to think, analyze and act and your young disciple Rahul Gandhi to study basics.

Thank you.

Your faithful and truthful disciple,

Sabari Ganesh

All the views expressed above are my personal.. just for fun. Not serious..

feature image by PEXELS.