I saw someone today. For the first time in a long time I looked at the world as blue-eyed man, and I saw someone. I don't think she saw me, but I saw her. It made me sad all day. I feel sad for a number of reasons. Sad because she didn't see me. Sad because I may never see her again. Sad because seeing her made me feel happy. Sad because she is happy without me. Sad because she has completely forgotten me. Sad because she is calm as sea, and I am still a freak.

So sad that I laugh at myself. I entertain myself by singing a song. I sing when I am alone. Once upon a time, she was like sunshine. She made me feel high. She made me smile for the longest time.

Now, she makes me sad. No matter I see her or not. She still affects me. I am scared, I do not want to go through the mindless crying and sleepless night again.