We’ve all been there. If you haven’t, there is a high chance that it will happen to you at least once in your life. Rock Bottom is a terrible place to be, but it also a great place to truly learn who you are.

In early 2017 and prior, I was at rock bottom. Every time I assumed I couldn’t go any further down, I would. When I thought things were turning around and I was climbing out, I fell further into this bottomless pit.

However, I realized that rock bottom is indeed bottomless until you make a dedicated commitment to stop falling, grab on to the wall, and make the long climb up.

My Quick Story

I have had my car repossessed twice. I have been fired from what was the highest paying job I ever had. I was kicked out of college because of poor grades. I would constantly go to the club every weekend. Worst of all, I was being a terrible father to my son. This is all prior to 2017.

However, 2017 was supposed to be my year! However, one month into it, the shit hit the fan fast. My son’s mother and I split up. This left me with nothing besides an Xbox One, a part-time job at Sonic with no way to get there. Luckily my friend lets me crash in his second bedroom.

This breakup ended rather badly and left me extremely depressed. I believe I hid it well from friends and family, but I truly was depressed. I coped with this by going out constantly and drinking. I’d spend hours playing Xbox instead of freelancing and working on my client work, which caused it to suffer. I eventually had to pawn my Xbox and laptop and lost them both because I didn’t have the money to repay the pawn shop.

On top of all that, I had my son’s mother threatening and then proceeding to put me on child support (which she later dropped early 2018). I was only getting 15–17 hours at Sonic, so my checks was enough to pay my friend rent, but that was pretty much it.

Eventually, around May, I decided that I’d had enough. That I couldn’t live like this anymore. That I was letting what happened at the beginning of the year continue to stress me out and hold me down. I was blaming everyone else but myself, and I was fed up with it.

I started to go running every morning, I walked to work and would refuse rides, unless it was raining, so I can spend that time thinking and to push me harder to get on track and get a car. I stopped going out so much and when I did, I didn’t drink nearly as much. I dedicated a set amount of time to doing work for clients daily. I started to make sure I always looked nice and sharp, even if I wasn’t going anywhere just so I could feel great. Finally, I started getting my son a lot more so I could spend more time with him and so he could motivate me to do better.

Take Responsibility

Before, I would Blame everyone for everything that was happening to me. I would blame family members for not giving me a ride to work, causing me to walk. I would blame friends for making me go out and drink a shit ton. I would blame son’s mother for stress and for how I felt after our break up. I could go on for days.

However, there was always this one person that was never to blame: me.
Eventually, I started to realize that I am at fault for all of this. Everything that has and was happening to me was because of me. I was walking to work because I was poor at managing my money and was too busy wasting it. My friends didn’t force me to go out, they simply asked and I would say yes. I also let peer pressure tempt me into buying drinks. And as for my son’s mother, she was just getting on my butt about being a better father and holding up my end.

Taking responsibility for your actions and life will allow you to better see what you’re doing wrong and correct it. It’s not easy, but it is necessary. I have many friends, co-workers, and family members who blame everyone else for their problems except themselves. To them, they’re perfect and life just won’t give them a break.

Start taking responsibility for your past and present life. You are where you are in life solely because of you. If you’re broke, it’s not because the government won’t increase minimum wage or your job won’t increase your pay, it is because you can’t manage your money correctly.

Do What You Can With What You Have

When I decided to get my shit together, I looked at what I had and worked with it. I had a few books that I already read but didn’t have any money to get new ones, so I read those books. I had a crappy Chromebook that was pretty slow, but I worked with it. When I lost that laptop to the pawn shop, I simply used my iPad.

No matter where I was at, I simply focused on what I could use. When I would walk to work, I would listen to audiobooks from Audible, and when I finished that book, I would hurry and exchange and listen to another until I came up with the money to pay for the trial.

No matter where you’re at, you can always utilize what’s around to get you closer to your goal. It may be tedious or take longer than if you had better equipment, software, etc., but if you truly want it, you’ll deal with it for as long as it takes.

Super Small Goals + Long-Term Vision

When I would walk to and from work or to and from the store, I would constantly think about my vision. I would think and plot out how I will get there. Rather it was my short-term vision like getting my car or long-term like building my 8-figure creative marketing agency, I would constantly figure out how to get it.

That is why I focus on creating small goals and super small goals. It allows me to break down my visions and take it one step at a time. So, instead of looking at this huge wall, I am looking at a staircase, and all I have to do is go one-step at a time. Super simple right?

Start reverse-engineering your visions and then create super small goals. This will allow you to turn your vision into reality.

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JaQuan Bryant is a freelance digital marketer who has worked with personal brands, startups, and even politicians. He is also addicted to productivity, growing, spending time with his son, physical activities and fried chicken (especially made by his girlfriend).

3 Things I Learned While at Rock Bottom was originally published in The Ascent on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.