Next Wednesday, May 16, Jim and I will be boarding a plane for FRANCE. I said last year that I’d like to visit Paris for our 25th anniversary, but with everything that was going on in 2017 (our move, a big trip already planned that included a family reunion and taking Gideon to grad school) it just didn’t seem doable. There was some talk of perhaps going in the fall, but that just never got off the ground. (Ha.) So we decided to go this year. The Cherry Creek Chorale’s last concert is this weekend, the annual business meeting is next Tuesday, and then the season is over. (You’d think that the Chorale was my job, or something.)
So I wanted to get this post up and share some thoughts with you, as I know many people are planning vacations right now. The school year is rapidly drawing to a close, so now is the time for families to get out of Dodge. I’m being outrageously spoiled, as Jim is doing all the work, but I know that’s not the case for many of the people who are heading up their trips by default. I’ve had an easier time than most moms, to be honest. Gideon started packing for himself fairly early, and Jim has always been the sorter-out of dirty clothes for the two of them. I’ve usually done a lot of the planning, but I enjoy doing that, and we had this one well-behaved kid to deal with, who could always be distracted by a book. I cannot imagine planning a trip with three or four (or more) kids, dealing with all that involves, especially when the kids are small. I see these families at the airport with a baby and a toddler and perhaps another child and I’m just amazed. How on earth do they keep track of everyone?
Here’s the thing, though: the control freak in the family (that would be me) often ends up doing most of the work because she (or he) just cannot believe that things will go well without her/his hands on the wheel. I’ve always had lots of ideas about where we should go on our trips, which is perfectly fine. But a couple of years ago we wanted to take a short trip to celebrate our anniversary, and I decided that for once I was going to keep my mouth shut and see what Jim came up with on his own. It’s kind of funny to me as I look back on that trip, as I can remember being a little worried about what he’d plan. Well, folks, I have to tell you—that was one great trip. I actually got three whole blog posts out of it! (You can read them here, here, and here. Also a followup post here.) It was just fabulous. I felt so cosseted! It took a great deal of self-control for me not to keep saying, “So, how are the plans for the trip going?” In the end, he came up with some ideas that I would never have considered, such as a four-hour horseback ride. And while I have no plans ever to get on a horse again in my lifetime, it was really, really great.
So I’d encourage you, if you’re always the one in charge, always the planner, that perhaps you could step back a little. Maybe the world won’t end if the packing isn’t up to your exacting standards, or if the schedule is a little loose, or some such. (I have a sad memory of a woman telling me that her husband had planned a big trip they’d taken to New York and everyone had to leave early from someplace they were really enjoying because he was absolutely committed to his timetable.) People do tend to step up to the plate if they know the responsibility is on them. The kids may actually make sure they have enough socks and underwear if you’re not hovering over them. Give it a shot and see what happens. You’re not fleeing a war zone! (Something that’s heartbreakingly true for far too many people, but I don’t think any of them are reading this post. They have other things on their minds!) And read How Tough Could It Be? by Austin Murphy, a great book by a sports writer who swapped roles with his wife for six months. It’s funny and touching, and I think Austin deserves a medal for putting up with the touchy Laura. But we won’t dwell on that!
I’ll be posting about the Cherry Creek Chorale’s concert this weekend (get your tickets now!) and perhaps something early next week, and then I’ll hope to be able to get out a few travelogue items during the trip itself. I’m not having my usual “can’t we just forget all about it” attitude that comes right before a vacation (and which always wears off once we get going); I’m really excited.
What are your travel plans? What could you delegate?
The post Take Your Hands Off the Wheel–At Least Some of the Time. appeared first on Intentional Living.
