Keep Smiling And Loving Yourself

I wanted to talk about something really random today. I have been on this app called 'whisper' since the last four years. I am very scared of letting people know who I actually am lest people should judge me. no matter how much I love myself, I can never be fully confident. I always neede someone to support me or love me so that I can do my stuff. I have always been in the extreme need of love and even if the other person is using me, I want us to be together. The bullying and the trauma that I went through during my school days, is something that I can't recover fully from. I am really good at hiding and also letting out a personality that makes others like me.

I have been slut-shamed, skinny shamed and I was subjected to really mean comments when I was young. I have made it a point that I would not become like them. I never pass mean comments on people. obviously, I have my own likes and dislikes, but I never let out a word that would hurt the other person. And due to this, I have been used over and over. being polite to guys make them think that I am into them. sometimes, everything gets messed up. nobody tries to understand. I want to have limited contact with people...but I can't really stay away from them. BECAUSE I NEED SUPPORT. I need someone to push me and make me get the work done. Life's good, I am happy. But most people don't know that I am craving for some honest love. I am desperate and needy but since I am always smiling and always caring for others, nobody cares.  That is when I realized anonymous life is way better. Nobody has to know me personally... love me through the cheesy lines that I write and leave when I don't want to get attached. I don't want to cheat on my Coco... but I don't think it would really affect him anyway. So I look for emotional support on apps like Whisper or stranger chats. I like helping others who's been through phases. People like listening to me. Whenever I try telling my problems, people think I am deliberately messing it up. honestly, I am not. I want everything to be sorted. I want that one person where I find my home and who sticks to me through everything.

I am loved for the way I look. But nobody cares to work for it.
Please respect and love your partner when you are together. Make, sure they are happy and you are honest. When they leave, you will be left with nothing.