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Boy Meets Girl

A Chat Room Encounter:

Lone_Gunman: Hello

alaskagrrrl: Hi

Lone_Gunman: Power lifter. Pretty impressive.

alaskagrrrl: For a girl you mean?

Lone_Gunman: No, I mean for anybody. What do you say we both keep our hostility on hold until we'’ve at least progressed a little further on in the conversation? I don'’t want to peak too early.

alaskagrrrl: Agreed. No offense, I'’ve been chatting with a lot of assholes tonight.

Lone_Gunman: Can'’t promise I won'’t be an asshole but I'’ll certainly make an honest effort to keep my sexism under wraps.

alaskagrrrl: lol. I guess I should be grateful that you at least read my profile.

Lone_Gunman: Indeed. I won'’t bother asking you the standard, "“do you live in an igloo?"” questions. No doubt you deal with enough ignorant slack-jawed shitkickers feebly attempting to make with the witty banter.

alaskagrrrl: LOL. Thanks and yes I do. Just about an hour ago some dumbass asked me If I spoke Alaskan.

Lone_Gunman: Somewhere in cyberspace there'’s a little yellow school bus that makes hourly drop-offs at this chat room.

alaskagrrrl: LMAO. So out of curiosity, what exactly compelled you to IM me?

Lone_Gunman: I'’d been in the room for a while watching you flirt with a number of guys. It wasn'’t the standard "“cum and fuck me"” nonsense I normally see. You mentioned the Kama Sutra and Isaac Asimov in the same sentence. I found that intriguing.

alaskagrrrl: LOL.

Lone_Gunman: Reading your measurements was certainly a deciding factor as well. I have an affinity for full-figured women.

alaskagrrrl: Is that right? So you didn'’t want me just for my brain?

Lone_Gunman: Somehow a mind fuck just doesn'’t seem as...tactile as I would prefer.

alaskagrrrl: Clever. What'’s your name?

Lone_Gunman: Dave U?

alaskagrrrl: Pamela. Nice to meet you. I'’m prone to agree with you as far as preference for the more tactile approach.

Lone_Gunman: Really? Very sensual are you?

alaskagrrrl: Extremely.

Lone_Gunman: I find sensuality and eroticism very therapeutic.

alaskagrrrl: As do I.

Lone_Gunman: I enjoy touching and caressing, it'’s silent communication. Erotic poetry of a sort.

alaskagrrrl: mmmmmm well put. Much is said without words. The sex act is the ultimate expression of love or at the very least lust.

Lone_Gunman: Indeed. Both being very pleasant alternatives of course. Though I must admit that some verbal interaction during sex is quite stimulating.

alaskagrrrl: You mean, "“Oh baby, oh baby, give me the hard one"?”

Lone_Gunman: LOL. Depends on the mood. I meant something more in the way of whispering in your ear how much of a dirty little slut you are while showering you with little kisses and the occassional gentle love bite, that type of kinky little interaction.

alaskagrrrl: That is HIGLY erotic. Love bites OMG. I love being talked dirty to. I can'’t explain why, I just do.

Lone_Gunman: It'’s quite normal actually. It'’s the dirty little slut inside you crying out. Most people as a rule tend to repress their inner most erotic needs. I'’d hazard to guess that you tend to be rather reserved outside the bedroom but inside you ride your partner like a mare in full gallop.

alaskagrrrl: LOL (blush). Am I that obvious?

Lone_Gunman: It'’s the fondness for dirty sex talk, it always gives you away. It's obvious you prefer your lovemaking a little on the rough side. Whore fantasies and full throttle, sweaty monkey sex go hand in hand.

alaskagrrrl: They sure haven'’t lately (sigh).

Lone_Gunman: Why is that?

alaskagrrrl: It'’s been quite a while since I'’ve been with a man. I recently bailed out of a three-year relationship with a selfish, self centered, dick-waver that spent the majority of his free time banging every stripper and bar hag that batted a fake eyelash at him while I sat around at home watching Jeopardy, getting older by the minute and ballooning an extra 20 lbs.

Lone_Gunman: Not that you'’re bitter of course. I like Jeopardy. I appear to have poured salt on a festering wound, I apologize.

alaskagrrrl: No need to, it felt good to vent.

Lone_Gunman: I hope so, your venom nearly melted my hard drive.

alaskagrrrl: LMAO. You are so funny. You have such an intelligent wit.

Lone_Gunman: Thank you darling, as do you. You'’re quite feisty too. I like you. A great body and a personality to match.

alaskagrrrl: Oh stop, I'’m a big girl. You don'’t need to try to make me feel good. Most guys are put off by my size.

Lone_Gunman: It's their loss then isn't it? I prefer women that look like women, not sinewy young boys, I just don'’t swing that way. You wrote yourself in your profile that you have a face like Betty Boop. That works for me. There are masterpieces of art that paid homage to women such as you. Yours was the ideal womanly form for centuries and for many still is as quiet as its kept.

alaskagrrrl: Thank you Dave, you'’re a sweetheart. You do wonders for my self esteem.

Lone_Gunman: It'’s my pleasure Pamela...for now.

alaskagrrrl: For now?????

Lone_Gunman: It need not be my pleasure alone. I'’m certain I can provide you with just as much if not more pleasure before this conversation draws to a close.

alaskagrrrl: Is that right? Do tell...…


This post first appeared on B R A I N J O B, please read the originial post: here

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