Welcome to your future home: Letdown City. Let us at the Chamber of Commerce tell you just a few of the reasons why you should come see us.
As of 2013, we are the new home to a professional sports team!
It's the New York Mets.
But the Mets have 10 cent hot dog nights every Thursday.
They're still not worth it.
| "Holy fuck this hot dog sucks as much as my team" |
Everybody in Letdown City plays the lottery.
Nobody ever wins.
There's only one hot girl in Letdown City and she's really into you.
She's your sister.
Last year we had a Mayoral candidate who gained some serious local and national support for his plan to change the name of Letdown City. Everyone was behind him 100% on the name change.
He still lost the election.
Letdown City has a state-of-the-art amusement park, Uppers Fun Park.
All of the rides at Uppers feature the biggest roller coaster rises in the world that never take you to a free-fall. All riders are forced to get off at the top and walk down.
The weather forecast in Letdown City always calls for sunshine!
But it's never sunny.
But it's never sunny.
Letdown City features a one-of-a-kind cupcake factory, so everything always smells like cupcakes.
It's because the factory is on fire.
American Idol visited our fair city in 2012.
But everyones voices were fucked up from inhaling cupcake fumes.
We at the chamber of commerce organized a kids day at the park last month with jumping castles, bumper boats, and a town-wide scavenger hunt.
5 dead, 13 wounded, and 3 missing.
Our high school basketball team finally made the state tournament this spring.
But their starting 5 can't play because of academic violations.
However, this meant that the happy-go-lucky team manager with down syndrome got to suit up.
And every shot he put up got blocked and he broke his leg.
Luckily, coach Harris is a doctor!
He has a Ph.D. in American History.
Letdown City is the Christmas capital of the world, lighting up streets and storefronts with Christmas cheer for a record 9 months out of the year.
But everyone in town is Jewish.
But everyone in town is Jewish.
If we haven't convinced you to move here (even though we know we have), then come visit Letdown City. Just hop on the interstate heading south and take a right on the third exit, you can't miss us; we're the only city built entirely of old movie set pieces.
