Its august again. The sun’s shining.  The alcohols on ice. The BBQ’s cooking. This can only mean one thing… THE Family BBQ. It’s the yearly event to come together as a family (when someone hasn’t passed away), in my family it’s a big deal. Aunts and uncles come down from Manchester, great aunts and uncles dust off their walking sticks to move from the comfort of their home to what can only be descried as a field(yes a field, I’m from a family of farmers!). if you’re not at this event you are most likely to be spoken about something rotten as to why you can’t attend, of course if you’re in labour, on your death bed, seriously ill or have died then you’re just about let off!

Every year there are new additions, whether that be other halves or Children there are always new people. This year it was as well as numerous small children I’m apparently related to, my sister’s boyfriend attended the event. To be completely honest I’m surprised he did! Nights before the BBQ stories were told as wine was flowing about the last gathering, how my 14year old Cousin put a crash helmet on and repeatedly ran into a lamppost, I’m surprised her boyfriend didn’t get man flu or something!

To start with everyones quite prim and proper as the alcohol hasn’t quite started to have effect but as the sun sets and the numerous solar panelled lights flick on and the great aunts and young children retire for the night, then that’s when the real party stars!!!

We split in to two groups, us and them. Them being the relatives that are chatting about the “good old days” with the “when I was your age stories”.  Then us. Were made up primarily of the cousins with a few aunts and uncles still around the table purely because they’ve been in the same seat all night and fear if they move they won’t get a seat again, which they have the right to as the three second rule is taken very seriously in my family!

The “us” groups starts with the comical gesture of greeting “Jack and Max” (AKA the Branning brothers) and also “Phil and Grant”(the Mithchell brothers). No these are not relatives which share similar traits to the Eastenders cast. No ladies and gentlemen these are the names my cousin(yes a blood relative) named mine and my sisters breasts. Once everyone (including breasts) have been greeted that’s when the real fun starts when Jamie (cousins fiancé) is put to the test, name everyone around the table and there relation to his fiancé, after about 20 minutes he finally gets round the 9 of us at the table. Then the real games begin! “name all the Waters Children in birth order” and “name all the grandchildren in birth order” this sounds easier said than done,7 Waters children and 15 grandchildren. It took 3 of the eldest cousins to get the correct order and even now were not too sure if its right or not!

You all seem like nice people so I’m gonna be honest with you, I don’t have a clue what happened after this. My Cousin Ended up being sick out of the tent, me and my cousin ended up pretty much eating everything in the BBQ and god knows what else happened.  I woke up the next day in a tent with my 30 year old cousin wearing his shirt. This doesn’t sound too much of a problem however 1) I wasn’t even meant to be camping 2) we were in the field next to the house for some reason.

And this people is my family, love us or hate us, we are awesome!!!! Give us a field and alcohol we will be sure to show you a good time!!

#YOLO #SWAGGIE