My first 40 tweets brought Twitter to overcapacity and account suspension.  I broke it.  They couldn’t handle even one more tweet.

Due to Twitter dragging butt to reactivate my account which was suspended without any warning, cause or explanation, tweeting on my blog.

one difference between an acquaintance and a friend is knowing you can securely tell them their wife’s meat loaf tastes like a mossy log.

Your friend will wonder how is it you know what a mossy log tastes like.  Go with the imagery.  Maybe the next free meal will improve.

very cool Native American name I would consider changing to…"Eats Bacon Near Wolves"

less cool Native American name I would also consider…"Runs From Chasing Wolves"

asking a direct ‘yes or no’ question and getting 3 minutes of indirect babbling…I feel your pain oh reporters who question politicians.

Press conferences should lighten up the atmosphere.  Serve juice and cookies.  Sit on floor mats.  Afterwards, everyone gets to take a nap.

Some people have the unfortunate mental or emotional limitation that they are only capable of being assholes under pressure.

Some people take fiendish delight in people’s suffering.  These are the same people who get pissed when they have more work to you than you.