The economy is crumbling, jobs are disappearing faster than farts in a fan factory, and nobody seems immune from the dreaded words – ‘your job is at risk’. So what can you do about it? How can you ensure those words are not said to you? ‘How to be a Survivor in the Modern Office’ is a light-hearted look at the things you can do to help you survive the economic downturn without becoming another statistic in the unemployment stakes.
Forthcoming blogs in future weeks will include how to escape the office bore without offending them, advice on how to get through the Christmas party unscathed, and the infamous ‘Business Card Dance’. But first let’s begin with Lesson 1 on office banter.
Lesson 1 – Office BanterThere was a time when jokes about women drivers, the inadequacy of men,and suchlike could be heard in offices the length and breadth of Britain. These jokes were part of the fabric of the workplace, easing us wage slaves through the boredom, the tedium of the deskbound day.
Not now, though. Now the politics of the office dictates that jokes and banter are verboten.
A few years ago, a work colleague of mine made a humorous reference about women being better suited to kitchen duties than men. Somebody took offence and my colleague was duly summoned to the Human Resources department, where he was treated to a verbal warning. He said later that he felt like a crime suspect .
More recently, a friend of mine made an innocuous comment to a female co-worker about maternity leave – he was forced to make a grovelling apology to the ‘offended’ party.
Political correctness appears to have gone too far in the modern workplace. There used to be a saying when I was just a scrawny schoolkid – ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me’. You don’t hear those words so much these days. People now seem just too thin-skinned. Obviously, people should not be bullied or discriminated against because of their gender, sexual orientation, race, colour etc. But a bit of office banter? Surely it would be right to fight back against these over-sensitive souls whose complaints to HR do far more real damage than any silly humorous comment. Surely a remark made in jest about a women’s inability to reverse a car doesn’t actually hurt, and shouldn’t warrant an e-mail or a visit to the HR department?
So, is there any way you can partake of a little office banter? Well, no there isn’t. You definitely cannot make jokes about your boss, or refer to them as a ball-breaker. Even if they are. And never underestimate the ability of a fearsome colleague to suddenly become an Oscar-deserving fragile, tearful wreck as and when they choose. Usually in front of HR.
You must rise above this. You are a survivor. You cannot afford to join in, there are too many pitfalls. I mean, just ask the ex- football pundit, Andy Gray.
In my novel ‘The Kit Bag’, the main protagonist, often goes too far with his comments regarding a colleague who is gay, but it’s not with the intention of malice. But eventually, it costs him his job.
So, the conclusion of lesson 1 is steer completely clear of office banter. Always be polite and don’t display your sense of humour at work. It’s just not worth it.
Is Will right? Is office banter a no-no? Follow this blog and share your comments.
In my blog next week, I shall be discussing how to negotiate your way safely through the difficult office Christmas party period.
(Will Thurmann is the author of the ebook ‘The Kit Bag’, available now on amazon. Click on the picture below to link to this now)
This post first appeared on How To Be A Survivor In The Modern Office, please read the originial post: here
