The final words of most famous historical figures went unrecorded or if they have come down to us, always seem to express a noble or brave sentiment. Being a skeptical sort of person I’ve always had doubts about this and after a lot of extensive research I am pleased to present to you the actual last words of some history’s most notable people…
George Washington: “You know, it really is true that I cannot tell a lie…but I did ‘choke the chicken’ every chance I could.”
Napoleon Bonaparte: “ They have finally managed to stop me, but at least I die knowing that the world will forever live in fear of French military might!”
Galileo Galilei: “Of all the wondrous discoveries I have made with my telescope, the most amazing of all is just how many women in this city get dressed with their window curtains wide open.”
John Wilkes Booth: “Huh…Lincoln? You mean that wasn’t the critic from the Times who wrote that I have ‘the stage presence of a bowl of oatmeal’? Oh, crap…”
Babe Ruth: “So many hookers…so little time.”
Christopher Columbus: “ The Niña, Pinta and Santa Maria…I mean, could the names of those ships be any gayer?”
Sigmund Freud: “Psychiatry, bah…I should have been a foot doctor like my momma wanted me to.”
Davy Crockett: “Seriously…if you guys bury me in this stupid hat, I swear to God I will come back and haunt you.”
Julius Caesar: “"You too, Brutus? You punk ass bitch!”
Alexander the Great: “Of course I’m dying young, you try living with the stress of being called the ‘Great’…thanks a lot mom and dad!”
Joan of Arc: “Do you smell smoke?”
William Shakespeare: “ Alas, ‘tis the hour of my death and verily I say to thee
How I devoutly wish that it was thou instead of me!”
Good old Willie…a poet to the bitter end.
Listed on humor-blogs.com
George Washington: “You know, it really is true that I cannot tell a lie…but I did ‘choke the chicken’ every chance I could.”
Napoleon Bonaparte: “ They have finally managed to stop me, but at least I die knowing that the world will forever live in fear of French military might!”
Galileo Galilei: “Of all the wondrous discoveries I have made with my telescope, the most amazing of all is just how many women in this city get dressed with their window curtains wide open.”
John Wilkes Booth: “Huh…Lincoln? You mean that wasn’t the critic from the Times who wrote that I have ‘the stage presence of a bowl of oatmeal’? Oh, crap…”
Babe Ruth: “So many hookers…so little time.”
Christopher Columbus: “ The Niña, Pinta and Santa Maria…I mean, could the names of those ships be any gayer?”
Sigmund Freud: “Psychiatry, bah…I should have been a foot doctor like my momma wanted me to.”
Davy Crockett: “Seriously…if you guys bury me in this stupid hat, I swear to God I will come back and haunt you.”
Julius Caesar: “"You too, Brutus? You punk ass bitch!”
Alexander the Great: “Of course I’m dying young, you try living with the stress of being called the ‘Great’…thanks a lot mom and dad!”
Joan of Arc: “Do you smell smoke?”
William Shakespeare: “ Alas, ‘tis the hour of my death and verily I say to thee
How I devoutly wish that it was thou instead of me!”
Good old Willie…a poet to the bitter end.
Listed on humor-blogs.com
