Well there's a fine how-do-you-do. One day, you're a planet. The next, you're just an icy rock. Them's the breaks.

But that's not all. Just in case you haven't kept up on the recent "up-is-down, black-is-white" hysterical declarations by the scientific community, here's a quick lowdown:

• Plutonium will now be called "Blowupium"
• Rice is now classified as a mineral
• Salt water is now drinkable and considered highly delicious
• Triangles can now contain up to five sides, or six if they're red
• Snakes are now scientifically impossible
• Seven is to be split into two digits, "se" and "ven"
• Smoking causes more "cool" than "cancer"

• Seriously, What The Hell?
• There Is No God