In a moment of weakness, BritBox turned on the morning news; it would be nice to get a little heads-up on the weather. BritBox loves to drive, make no mistake: man and machine, the open road, carefree highway, all of that. It’s the other road warriors that put sand in the thong of motoring. Why is it easier in this country to get a driver’s license than it is to file one’s own income tax return? Did anyone ever die from involuntary taxslaughter? Exactly. BritBox is just saying that people should take a little more seriously the responsibility of operating a two-ton killing machine. Nobody mentioned Hummers by name.
The TV newscaster was actually rather good-looking, if you go for that plastic action-figure kind of vibe. No kidding, he was really made of plastic! Deep resonant voice, golden locks, jaw shaped like Colorado. Zeus wept bitter tears when he lost this radiant demi-god to the dark Earth below, no doubt about it.
The Barbie to this Ken was some fluffhead named Kristi or Casey or Cherie or something. All teeth, hair, and nails. Talk about the blonde leading the blonde! The beautiful cornsilk-haired twosome chattered at each other like giddy monkeys, almost as if they had forgotten about the camera’s eye. If BritBox could just get the weather forecast before they segued to local reaction about the earthquake in Antarctica…why was it so important to serve up a “local connection” to every human tragedy? Have you ever actually met a South Polar research technician?
They cut away to a commercial. There was no way BritBox was going to get the required information without paying a terrible price. The damage had already been done: is there a Purple Heart for wounds caused by local journalism? There should be! BritBox decided to head out into the unknown, naked and uninformed. It was better than waiting for the Dream Team to resume their on-air romance. Waiting for Gail Force, or Storm Surge, or whatever the weatherman’s name was, to grin through his forecast like an idiot; finishing by reminding everyone to “dress in layers, folks, and wear a hat to keep your ears and head warm”. That kind of useful information could easily cause damage that surpasses a TV Purple Heart injury and have BritBox end up in a body bag due to brain delamination.
Know your enemy, and claim the high ground. It is better to go down in glorious battle than to be taken out in your own living room by handsome snipers with perfect teeth.
media
TV
television
The TV newscaster was actually rather good-looking, if you go for that plastic action-figure kind of vibe. No kidding, he was really made of plastic! Deep resonant voice, golden locks, jaw shaped like Colorado. Zeus wept bitter tears when he lost this radiant demi-god to the dark Earth below, no doubt about it.
The Barbie to this Ken was some fluffhead named Kristi or Casey or Cherie or something. All teeth, hair, and nails. Talk about the blonde leading the blonde! The beautiful cornsilk-haired twosome chattered at each other like giddy monkeys, almost as if they had forgotten about the camera’s eye. If BritBox could just get the weather forecast before they segued to local reaction about the earthquake in Antarctica…why was it so important to serve up a “local connection” to every human tragedy? Have you ever actually met a South Polar research technician?
They cut away to a commercial. There was no way BritBox was going to get the required information without paying a terrible price. The damage had already been done: is there a Purple Heart for wounds caused by local journalism? There should be! BritBox decided to head out into the unknown, naked and uninformed. It was better than waiting for the Dream Team to resume their on-air romance. Waiting for Gail Force, or Storm Surge, or whatever the weatherman’s name was, to grin through his forecast like an idiot; finishing by reminding everyone to “dress in layers, folks, and wear a hat to keep your ears and head warm”. That kind of useful information could easily cause damage that surpasses a TV Purple Heart injury and have BritBox end up in a body bag due to brain delamination.
Know your enemy, and claim the high ground. It is better to go down in glorious battle than to be taken out in your own living room by handsome snipers with perfect teeth.
media
TV
television
