The only real obstacle that stands in the way of our freedom and happiness is ourselves. Through active addiction we try to achieve satisfaction, considering our circumstances. We fabricate a reality and stay stuck on a negative perspective of our experience. We cannot see beyond the judgment which we have clothed our lives in until we decide to do something about it.

Think about your own past, how many times has a similar outcome occurred? Regardless of the people and places, it was Déjà vu.  We ask ourselves, “how could this happen again?”

We get stuck in revolving doors. We continuously make decisions that produced the same results. The scariest part is that we don’t even know it, and we need help to see the truth and break free from our own imprisonment.

Honesty is the first step! These are some of the lies we need to stop telling ourselves:

“If only my parents had done a better job”
Our parents cannot make decisions for us anymore. At one point or another, we must provide for ourselves whatever we needed as children. And what we need as adults to feel secure.

“You don’t understand what I’ve been through”

There are people who have gone through what you have gone through. Our stories may play out differently, but we are all humans living the human experience. Plus, if it has a name, it has occurred before! Look around, and you will find.

“It’s too late for me, I’ve messed everything up”
It is never too late, the fact that we are still alive and reading this page is enough proof. As long as we are breathing, we have a chance to make a difference.

“I don’t deserve to be happy, I am a bad person”
This ends with forgiveness. No one is perfect, and we have all done things that we regret. We have hurt people and ourselves, but we don’t have to do those things ever again. Millions of people have changed their emotions, attitudes, and actions. By the way, you deserve happiness. Who says you don’t? 

“This will never work out for me”
It will never work if you have already convinced yourself it will never work. An enemy to Recovery is “contempt prior to investigation.” If you’ve never tried it, and given it all you’ve had, it won’t. But magic happens when we try.

“Just one more time”
We are addicts and alcoholics because one more drink is never enough. We need more, always. Think about how many times you’ve said this to yourself or someone else, only to find yourself on a run again.

Let go of the victim story
This is not meant to minimize your experiences. If you have gotten hurt, wronged, abused, or neglected, it is time to ask for help. The world and its people dominate the addict and alcoholic. It is time to take responsibility for our lives. This can look like taking the dive and seeking recovery. It means allowing others, who have been there, help us out of it. It requires we take our emotions, attitudes, and actions into our own hands and seek to heal from our traumas. We let go of the victim story when we show up for ourselves and heal the parts of us that hurt. We regain autonomy for our lives and take the control away from other people and our addictions. We have an active role in what happens to us next. You are not a victim, you are a survivor.

This is not something we ever have to do alone. As a matter of fact, we can do this with people who have experienced the same thing or understand where we have been. New River is a safe environment that has helped countless people find recovery. It is time to break through our self-imposed obstacles. It does need commitment and effort on our part, but we can recover from a hopeless state of mind and body.

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