Stress takes a heavy toll, both psychologically and physiologically. Extreme stress in men can lead to erection problems and in some cases to full-fledged erectile dysfunction. The effects of stress can be equally devastating for women, who may lose their interest in and desire for sex.

WebMD.com offers a fairly succinct definition of stress along with a simple tip to limit the damage it can cause. The website defines stress as “your reaction to any change that requires you to adjust or respond.” It points out that “it’s important to remember that you can control stress, because stress comes from how you respond to stressful events, not the events themselves.” While the suggestion seems simple enough, following it is not always so easy.

Can Reduce Sexual Enjoyment

It should come as little surprise that stress also takes a toll on both sexual performance and the enjoyment of sex. In an interview with the Australian website Coach, Sydney-based clinical psychologist Gillian Marcoolyn explained that stress leads to various manifestations of sexual dysfunction. “It disrupts the flow of blood to the genitals, and the stress hormone cortisol can really suppress sex hormones.”

Stress-caused sexual dysfunction can cause erectile dysfunction in men and vaginismus (vaginal spasms in response to intercourse) in women, said Marcoolyn. For both sexes, stress can lead to anorgasmia, a condition in which it becomes difficult, if not impossible, to achieve orgasm. The adverse effects of stress on sex can take a significant toll on marital and other intimate relationships.

Stress Leads to Anxiety

Marcoolyn notes that stress quite often leads to anxiety in the bedroom. And anxiety takes a significant toll on sexual performance. “When people are trying to perform,” said Marcoolyn, “their mind pulls them in with thoughts and stories — ‘What if I can’t get hard?’ or ‘What if I make a fool of myself?'” Such thoughts and doubts can quickly wilt a man’s erection and cause a woman to lose her desire for sex.

The causes of stress could probably fill a small volume, but some of the more common triggers for stress, according to WebMD, include confrontation, particularly with a loved one or a coworker; deadlines; death of a loved one; divorce; health problems; job loss; legal problems; marriage; money problems; and parenting. Although it’s not on WebMD’s list, driving in heavy traffic is another common stressor in everyday life.

Three Categories of Warning Signs

The warning signs of stress fall into three primary categories: behavioral, emotional, and physical. Behavioral warning signs of excess stress include acting on impulse, changing jobs frequently, eating disorders, overreacting, substance abuse, and withdrawal from relationships.

Among the more common emotional signs of stress are anger, frequent mood swings, an inability to concentrate, sadness, and unproductive worry. The warning signs of stress at the physical level include changes in bowel habits, chronic fatigue, elevated blood pressure, erectile dysfunction, sleep disturbance, stomach pains, stooped posture, sweaty palms, and unusual weight gain or loss.

How to Cope with Stress

Rather than surrender to stress, WebMD suggests that you take one or more of the following steps to better cope with the stressors of everyday life. These steps include:

• Ask others to help ease the burden, particularly when the stressor is relationship- or work-related.
• Attempt to change or eliminate the source or stress.
• Distance yourself from the source of stress, if possible.
• Eat and drink sensibly, resisting the impulse to overindulge, which itself can trigger even more stress.
• Engage in problem solving activity to minimize or remove the source of stress.
• Exercise regularly.
• Maintain a healthy sense of self-worth.
• Maintain emotional composure.
• Maintain emotionally supportive relationships, which means that you’ll also be there to help ease the stress of your partners in those relationships.
• Stop smoking or other self-destructive habits that tend to make matters worse — not better.
• Talk out distressing emotions, asserting your beliefs, feelings, and opinions instead of becoming angry, combative, or passive.
• Take responsibility for stressful situations that you may have caused yourself.

Defer Sex When Overstressed

If you find yourself in the grip of a stressful situation that you have not yet been able to work your way through, you owe it to your partner to defer sex until you’ve found a way to resolve the matter. Coach also interviewed sex therapist Christina Spaccavento, who said that to make the sexual experience fulfilling for both partners, they need to be “relaxed, present and focusing on the moment.”

Spaccavento went on to say, “If your partner is initiating sex and all you can think about is how you are going to respond to those 200 emails in your inbox tomorrow, there is little chance your body and mind are going to respond to your lover’s advances.”

Impact of Stress on Sex Drive

The sex therapist explained that stress triggers the body to focus on the production of stress hormones, such as cortisol, thus de-prioritizing the production of testosterone, the sex hormone most closely associated with sexual desire. “Because of this change in hormone production your sex drive can drop,” said Spaccavento.

If this article has piqued your interest and you would like to read additional articles about sexual health and function, as well as other topics of interest to health consumers, check out our blog.