The first time the reality ever hit me was when I was graduated and trying to find my first job. There were always something or other to wreck a havoc in my nervous systems…be it the intimidating HR offices, the over-confident employees already there or the unmentionable, extremely insulting, lowest amount of five figure salaries that were being offered. In the meantime all my friends were getting jobs, passing postgraduate exams, receiving god-only-knows-what scholarships or certificates which were directing them towards further chances of said scholarships. Many of them were getting Married and starting family while all I wanted to do was curled up in my bed binge watching Modern Family. Long story short, my family got annoyed with me after some times, they suddenly wanted to me to take responsibilities and be an adult for once in my life (really, mother? what made you think of it now and not 10 or 15 years earlier?) So, they decided to get me married and I did just that. I married the most sweet, kind and lovely person on the earth. How lucky, huh? Nope, not so fast! Married life was tougher than I interpreted. I couldn’t cook, wash, take care of any bills to be paid, didn’t know where to shop for anything and was unable to even take care of myself! It’s no wonder married life didn’t agree with me! My in-laws tried to be helpful with me in the beginning, but their patience ran out too. In the meantime, I was desperately searching for a job while trying to keep on my temp ones and also trying to save money for the upcoming post- graduation entrance exams. I don’t know when within this chaos, depression, the deadliest of the diseases has found its way in me. This January, just before an exam (which had costed me around 600 pounds) I had a nervous breakdown and my husband had to rush me to the doctor’s office.
After the huge fiasco I took a good look at myself and understood things needed to be changed in my life. (I passed though!) So, I bit my ego and took money from my parents and started seeing a good psychiatrist. Finally found a new job, saved some money with which I tried to apply for jobs in other countries and again lost my job! Can you believe what a stupid I am? Honestly, I can’t! Thanks God, one of the applications I sent got accepted and hope I’ll be in a new country with a new life next week this time! No more being an irresponsible girl who constantly gets into trouble! You may ask, where am I going…well, that’s going to be a surprise for now. Keep reading and maybe I’ll tell you soon.J
