You know recently I ran into someone I knew from High School. We were not exactly friends back then, but more like acquaintences. We were always friendly to each other and saw each other at partys and such, but we were not ones to call each other and make plans. It has been probably 25 years since we last seen each other, and it was amazing to me that we even recognized one another (I was coming into Walmart and she was going out). Since then, we have emailed one another a couple of times and found allot of the same intersts and thoughts. She also seems to be very dedicated to children, both hers and the ones that she has contact with in her job. And it occurred to me that isnt it strange how people come in and out of our lives at different points. Honestly, back in High School I was a bit of a clown (still am sometimes), certainly not attractive (probably still not) and certainly did not have a clue where life was going to take me or where I wanted to go. I was probably like the majority of high school guys. I was someone that if I was around, I would think most poeple would find me not too offensive, and if I wasnt around, most people would not notice or not miss. Again, like the majority of high schoolers. I was not particularly well read, certainly not well travelled and worried too much what others thought. Again, like most.
My path took me away from that town and away from those people. I sometimes purposely stayed away. There were sometimes that I felt too good for them, and sometimes I did not feel good enough. I sometimes wanted to be more than the small town I grew up in and I sometime wished I was exactly like the small town I grew up in.
There is a reunion coming up. I have never been to a class reunion. And it has been 25 years. I did not ever go before for a number of reasons, I wasnt living in the country or was busy or just thought that I did not want to go and have all the insecurities that I had about myself come back to me. Now believe me, I am not a person that dwells on things for years and have to go to my therapist and work out because of them (though I have been to a therapist - but have never worked out anything). I am looking forward to going for one reason , and that is to meet allot of people that once I shared a history with, but dont really know. In my earlier blog, Its a Wonderful Life, I wrote that everyone has a story and I am interested in theirs. We travel through life, and experience so much. The sum of those experiences make us who we are and shape our thoughts. Whether one is a school teacher, a farmer or a ditch digger, events happened in our lives that have shaped them. For better or worse. And that is what humanity is all about. That is what life is all about.
It is not about the car, or the house or whatever. It is not about judging others or being judged. Its about who we are inside and what we have done with the little knowledge that we gained through life.
When you see someone that you havent seen for along time and start to catch up and find you have things in common, yet the paths of our lives could not have been different, it makes me humble. It makes me ashamed that I never took the time to get to know people as well as I should have. It makes me feel lucky for a chance meeting in a Walmart.
So maybe I will go to this reunion and maybe I will revert back to this insecure, funny, unattractive guy I was when I was 17, and maybe that is what reunions are about. Give you a sense about where you came from so you appreciate where you have been and where you are going. And maybe that is what we all need as we enter the second half of our lives.
So I will couragously go to my reunion. Knowing full well that people will expect me to be like i was when they knew me. And knowing full well that there is a possibility that I revert to that person for those few short hours. But also knowing full well that the difference between the person that I was and the person that I am today boils down to one thing. I know the person I am today and am content with who I am. And hopefully I will get to know a few people that I used to know. And that would make for a very special time.