Now that I have your attention. :) First of all let me preface this blog by saying everything that i'm sharing is from a Married, Christian Man perspective and if you aren't comfortable with hearing certain sexual words, you may not want to read this. With that being said let dive into it.

DISCLOSURE: My Wife approved of the examples I share in this blog. :)

My wife and I find ourselves constantly having conversations about sex in marriage and how as Christians, people tend still view it as taboo. I'm referring to married Christians. In our conversations we talk about how good it feels to have a good orgasm with your spouse, and to have that special chemistry that you can get physically aroused just by your spouse walking in the room. On the flip side of that is the thought of a sex-less, or "orgasm-less" marriage. It is beyond my comprehension that there are so many married women, and a few men, who've ether never had an orgasm, or rarely get an orgasm from their spouse. They simply go through the motions. Now i'm not referring to people who have a medical condition that prevents this from happening, i'm talking about the ones who just never get there. Recently we had a speaker at our church who did 2 sessions on sex in a christian marriage. While there are some things he presented that I can't say that I agree with 100%, the one thing he did say that made a lot of since is that the act of sexual intercourse is the only thing we do that we exclude God from. It's almost like we try to hide it from God. Now I can't sit here and say that my wife and I make Love off of TD Jake's Love Song's CD, not that there's anything wrong with that, it just doesn't put me in the mindset of loving on my wife. But for me, by taking the time to truly learn what makes her tremble and "levitate" (she's gonna hate me for that one LOL) i'm honoring God by offering myself to her holistically. (Read I Corinthians 7:5) God made us sexual beings, and he made our body's capable of receiving pleasure from it so why would it be such a taboo thing for married couples to do and enjoy doing. Now I am no way a sex expert but i've had friends, even strangers ask me what I do to keep a smile on my wife's face and how is it that we look like we are on our honeymoon when we are out. So here goes nothing:

For the Guys: It takes time, dedication and patience to lead your women to orgasm. There are medical studies to prove this fact. You HAVE to take time to learn your wife's body and you must be open to take criticism and sometimes directions from her. My wife, for example, was not a very vocal person in this arena so she didn't want to tell me what she liked because she was afraid I might be offended or something. So I had to listen to her body. I learned that if I did certain things to her she would react a certain way, some good and some not so good. Each time I learned more and more just by her reactions. Once you find that one thing or spot, stay on it until you see those tears of love streaming down her face and she explodes with.......Sorry, i digress. Whew, anyway later on she became more comfortable with trying new things and telling me things she'd like to try.

For the Ladies: Ladies, you HAVE to stop acting shy with your man and tell him what makes you tic. Now before you can do this you have learn to be comfortable in your own skin. You have to know without a shadow of a doubt that you are beautifully made in every way, especially to your man. He adores you but you have to adore yourself first. Every curve is were it's suppose to be. Now unfortunately you all don't come with an instruction manual and sometimes our learning curve can be huge. We are men, help us out and kindly tell your husband, or gently maneuver him to the places that need attentions. The second thing is don't be afraid to experiment with different things within your marriage. If you always find your self doing the same routine with sex in the same place, mix it up. Remember, foreplay for us men starts in the mind also. I can only speak for me and my wife but sometimes it starts in the morning before work just with a simple look, then progresses through out the day with a cute text message or phone call from one another. By the time we get home and the opportunity presents itself i've spent all day thinking about my wife and the things I want to do when I get home. I have a game plan with strategic angles of attack and all. LOL

Lastly as I get off my sexual soapbox, we as Christians must get off this idea that sex has to be boring and just an act of reproduction. THE DEVIL IS A LIE!!! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE Making love with my wife. I love everything about it. LOL The Bible tells us in Hebrews 13:4 that the married bed is only defiled in two ways; fornication and adultery. Everything else seems to be fair game. The only caveat to this would be that both parties would need to be in agreement with whatever things take place in your sex life. For example, you can't come home with some whips and ropes and expect to do some craziness if the other party isn't in agreement or comfortable with it. The Bible tells us to Honor our spouses and you can't honor someone by forcing something on them that they do not want to do nor have the desire to do.

All in all, to my married, Christians friends, family and strangers; don't be afraid to please your spouse. If you have any problems with how beautiful sex can be, read the Song of Solomon. I love, loving my wife so much I wish I could teach a course on it. Am I perfect at it, NOT BY A LOOOONNNGGG SHOT, but I try everyday to make sure that she feels my love. This in turn makes our sex, EPIC!!!!