In the wake of the unraveling scandal surrounding the agency’s television Viewing habits, CDRH spokesperson Teng Kay has denied allegations they have been instructed by “unconfirmed alien contact” to reclassify TV remotes as Class II Medical devices. In a related story, Acting FDA Commissioner Rupert Murdoch has issued a list of “breakthrough therapy” entertainment for recommended viewing. The list is said to include: ANDA and the King of Siam, Complete Response Letters from Iwo Jima, and Fahrenheit 453. All programming has been deemed truthful, accurate, and non-misleading by the Shkreli Institute for Ethical Studies.