My feet followed the brass Fish a that trail along the terminal to the gates. My children were scattered in front of me. Bright backpacks and braids bobbing along toward B14. Jax’s tears were quiet, dripping from his enormous blue eyes. The depths reflecting my love and longing back at me. I held them each longer and tighter this year than I did last year. I cried longer too. My eyes still sore from the night before I didn’t notice the fish on the way back to the car.
“Will you drive me to work?” Completely out of the way and adding another hour to Noel’s travel time, he said yes without hesitation.
“I’ll just take the bus back downtown after I drop you and the car off.” Noel said.
Every time I leave them in the care of their loving father, I cross the great divide. A flood of memories overwhelms me, all the joys and sorrows that came before the divorce that tore my life. Reliving all the emotion of my past rocks me to the core, every time. It leaves me weak. Then I realize that I am standing in an ocean of love, and a gentle tide carries me back to shore.
