The Preemptive Strike

Sometimes parents don’t feel they have the time or energy to do Ignore it!. They try to forestall it—but not in a helpful way. Every few seconds, Mom or Dad might say, “You better stop that or I’ll [fill in the punishment].” The problem with this is twofold. First, parents repeatedly threaten with [fill in the punishment], but they know (and the child knows) that punishment will likely never come. It’s a completely empty threat. If the parents were really going to go through with the penalty, they would just act, not merely threaten it. The second issue is that, in the process of trying to avoid having to Ignore it!, the Parent is providing the very attention that is reinforcing the behavior.

Offense is your best defense. Be proactive in planning or using the other preventative measures discussed in Chapter 11. However, if the child is already exhibiting the behavior you are trying to eliminate, warning that you will soon start to Ignore it! will not work. In fact, it does the opposite. Just Ignore it! and then it will go away.

Let’s Speed This Up

Parents are busy people. Even ones who are conscientiously trying … Continue reading..