In about a month I will be attending my second child’s ‘Celebration.’  This is the celebration that sees the end of her elementary school days and the preparation for High School in the fall.  It is quite fitting that she turns 13 a couple of days later.   It is a lovely day actually.  They do the little ceremony early in the morning.  Then the parents leave the kids to celebrate with ice cream and a little Dance in the afternoon.  The theme this year is ‘under the stars’ and I am  (as head of the parent volunteer committee) putting together invitations for the families as well as helping plan out the food and decorations needed.

At home another item has needed some thought.  What will she wear?  This question has been more difficult to answer.  What does a 12 year old who looks like I did when I was 16 wear to a school event?

We have had quite a chuckle perusing the sizing for some of the more popular stores.

This all actually came about AFTER we have picked a dress and ordered it.

This was picked because she lives and breathes EVERYTHING from Hot Topic.   She lived and breathed everything that was Harley Quinn.  For a little while.  I thought this dress was a tad risque but she looks really cute in it.  She, however, is a growing and ever-changing young lady who lives daily on the knife edge between being a rebel outlier and conforming and fitting in with her tribe. Currently, she is leaning towards conformity and so we started cruising online to see what else was out there that won’t make her stand out as much.   And that is fine.  Plus they didn’t seem to have anything formal enough from their ‘Supernatural’ collection (her latest craze).

I have looked at the sites for stores like Forever 21 and H&M.  The size chart above is for the girls clothing at Forever 21.  All cute and all too small….even the 13/14  would be a no go for most of their selection.   So we took a look at their ‘women’s’ clothing.

Caity is probably about a small or medium for most of their stuff.  However, I don’t think their dresses would pass the school’s code of conduct.

I know I am not alone with this issue.  I have spoken to a few of the moms who were a bit stumped about where to shop for a nice but not too fussy and overpriced dress for the occasion.    One place that we are going to check out is a store I had in all honesty forgotten about…..Suzy Shier.   She really liked a lot of their dresses online and most of them are cute and modest and would do fine for a 12 going on 16 year old.  Fingers crossed.  What gets me is that my daughter is not fat or large in any sense of the concept.  She is tall and lovely and strong.   But she dreads shopping for things like this because the tiny sizes make her feel like a hulking giant.   She struggles with not being negative about herself and fights comparing herself to her classmates.   So the struggles is even greater when you have to find stuff that fits that is age appropriate too and that makes her feel beautiful.

I know I sound like a fuddy duddy. But the world our kids are navigating today is SO much more complicated than it was.   We were all such babies.  In Scotland, my grade 7 leaving dance was a Scottish Country dance that we all practiced for.  Only the really pretty girls in our class got asked to be ‘dates.’  I was asked by Adam Brown when he returned unexpectedly to our school, he asked me to be his ‘date.’   However we were all so nieve that we didn’t really know what that meant and since we all had to dance to the hot moves of the Eightsome Reels and Dashing White Sargeant so basically we all just hung out together.  It was. As they say. Lit.

Check us out.

I am on the left in the smokin blue number with white buttons.  Notice Leslie (on the left) and I have the same Purdy from the New Avengers (not the Marvel one’s) haircuts.  The saucy minx in the middle is Melissa.  We were soooo jealous of her because she was from Rhodesia and the boys thought she was very exotic.  We couldn’t compete.

I think what I am trying to say is I clearly remember all the anxieties of grade 7 so I am more than sympathetic to the ups and downs that Caity faces today.  The current freak out now is if the teachers will force the boys to dance with them.  THE HORROR.

But it is right? When you are 12.   So I will try to ease her fears and we will go out and find the perfect dress.  Somewhere.

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