Here's another pro tip for you: no matter how appealing the bus might seem as a viable method of transportation from the airport to the beer, it is in fact not. Maybe this is why I was drunk after the first 30 minutes of arriving at said beer, but I digress.

While it might seem like a cheap way to observe the local wildlife, it isn't the safest nor the most rewarding. Instead, do the smart thing and take a cab, or use the new spiffy Uber service. Hell, invent instant teleportation. Just. Don't. Take. The. Bus.

So let's talk about my first day of winning at GABF. I arrived to the party two hours late because of the impeccable timing of the Denver public transportation system. Upon arriving, I headed straight to the glorious savior of sobriety that is the Beerliner, upon which I discovered the beautiful Tony Drewry and Michael Peticolas.

Damn They're Sexy

After seeing these two together, I knew I was in for a treat and began imbibing heavily upon Great Scot! This was the first moment I truly felt as if I was winning at GABF.

Winning at GABF

After hanging out around the Beerliner for a little bit, Matt, Carlos and I headed straight around the corner and into the The Falling Rock Taphouse, or as I like to call it, the Temple of Beer. After a quick run to the toilet downstairs (where Carlos spotted an Austin Beer Guide being used as some spare TP), we began saying our prayers and giving thanks to the almighty and glorious beer gods who had blessedly provided us with safe passage to their great temple.

The One True Temple

Reading Material, or Spare TP?

We also started to drink even more, and I gave my own thanks over a delicious pint of Crooked Stave D'orr #2.

I Love Crooked Stave

After a pint and some food, it was then time to head to the festival where things started to get pretty blurry for me. I won't spend too much time discussing the actual sessions in these posts, but I will say this: I was both terrified and excited at the same time in amounts I've never felt before. And that's all I'll say about that.

I don't remember much of the session on Friday night other than I was truly like a little kid in a candy shop. Seriously, there are no words to describe one's first session at GABF. I'm wracking my brain for some sort of metaphor or simile that can possibly do it justice but nothing can. You just have to experience it for yourself.

Shit There Was a Lot of People

I do remember losing Matt and Carlos for a bit and wandering around for what seemed like five hours, feeling completely euphoric and basking in all the wonderful sights. Also, the lines to the silent disco were completely ridiculous and too long and I was kind of bummed about that, but screw silent disco when there's so much more beer to drink!

After finding Matt and Carlos again, (and running into Billy from Adelbert's as well as briefly meeting The Beer Wench) we proceeded to head out and back to the Beerliner. Damn we made such great decisions, and subsequently, this was about the time I stopped taking pictures. Or maybe I was too dysfunctional to take any. Either way, I have no more pictures from this part of the night. And oddly enough, this is when the most fun happened. Read on to find out why!

Part 2

After once again hanging around at the Beerliner for a bit, The Beer Evangelist then convinced several of us to jump in a cab with him and head to who knows where, for who knows what reason. No seriously, I had no fucking clue why I was getting into this cab other than the fact that I was heading somewhere with beer and that was enough for me.

We eventually arrived at a place called the Hi-Dive that actually had a sweet-ass tap takeover split between New Belgium and Wicked Weed Brewing, and there were also some kickass local bands playing as well. Suffice to say, I had just enough of dancing fuel (aka beer) inside of me that I was ready to get my moves on. After grabbing a Tranquility by Wicked Weed at the bar, I proceeded straight to the dance floor and started rocking to the tunes of some bands I completely forgot the names of. All I remember was some band called A. tom collins, and damn I had fun dancing to their tunes.

After what seemed like a lifetime, I finally decided to seek out the people I had traveled with and I quickly discovered that the entire place was shutting down and everyone was heading to the door as if someone had laid a nasty deuce or there was a fire happening that I was unaware of. Either way, I headed out into the street and ran straight into some people I knew, who apparently had been at Hi-Dive the entire time although they failed to see my sweet-ass dancing moves.

We chatted for awhile and grabbed some late night dinner at some Russian Burger place (WTF?), where I had some shitty but drunkenly delicious gyro plate and afterwards headed back to the shit palace that was our hostel with Carlos.

Overall, the first day at GABF was both a massive shit show of epic proportions as well as a completely fun experience. Highlights of the night were actually hanging out at the Beerliner and dancing my ass off at the Hi-Dive while sipping on some Tranquility. That is one seriously delicious beer. Note that I did not say the session. While it was fun, I was too blitzed at the end to even remember what had just happened.

Did I win my first day at GABF? Hell no. In fact, Denver probably pulled down my pants and gave me the biggest atomic wedgie ever known to man. But did I have fun? Hell yes, and that in the end is all that matters. Oh and not dying. Yeah, that's important too.

Stay tuned for Winning at GABF Day 2, where Matt got way too drunk, and I passed out under a shitty hostel bed. Fun times!