In what I fondly refer to as “My Former Life”, I was a ballroom dance instructor and performer, and I loved it. We would host parties at the Dance Studio every other Friday night (so that students could practice dancing in a social setting, on a crowded dance floor) and I would pinch myself, asking,

“Is this really my life? Am I REALLY getting paid to dance?”

BUT, when I walked onto the stage to perform, I wouldn’t just shake with fear, I would QUAKE with fear. I always had sweaty palms (my Dance Partner LOVED that, NOT!) and the smile I had plastered on my lips trembled like that of a child about to cry.

WHY?

Because I was stuck inside my head.

While I was about to DANCE with my BODY, I was stuck in my head worried about the 200 pairs of eyes watching me. While I should have been focused solely on my dance partner, I fretted over what the judges *must* be thinking.

My dance partner was at such a loss as to what to do for me, he created a drinking tradition for us. Just before each performance, we toasted with a shot of cognac… Unfortunately, it didn’t work. And, after I waved to the audience from the dance floor like a giddy, buzzed-girl, he ended the tradition.

Now flash back 2 years (before ballroom dance), I was 20 years old and I had the opportunity to study abroad in Bath England. Aside from Canada, I’d never been outside the US before and the experience filled me with a hunger for life I’d never felt before.

For the first time I truly understood what it felt like to be passionate about something as an adult. Until that point I’d done most things out of a sense of responsibility, obligation or need. The most passionate stand I’d taken as a girl was to obsess longingly over horses and endlessly ask for horseback riding lessons. My loving parents caved and I worshiped my days at the barn (I even did a report in 10th grade English class about horseback riding!), until I let the stress and self-imposed obligation of doing well at school eat up anytime I had to ride.

When I came back to the US, I knew I couldn’t continue down the life path I’d set forth for myself because it was too safe and too traditional.  As the oldest of 3, a long time baby-sitter, and camp counselor etc, I was on course to become an elementary school teacher.

Now, I LOVE teachers…teachers are freaking AMAZING! However, for me, it was the safe journey because I’d already been teaching for years.

So, when I came back from England and graduated, I interviewed to become a ballroom dance instructor having NO dance experience EVER! I just knew I was passionate about music and loved, loved, LOVED to dance…so why not try?!?!?

I had learned that I needed to live a life where I followed my passions. So, I made the change.  It has been a change and a focus that has guided me ever since. As I continued to follow my passions I explored a career in Marketing and then began to study Life Coaching.

But, what didn’t change was the anxious, nervous energy that I so visibly experienced when I performed on stage. While I didn’t experience that heightened level of anxiety in my day to day life, it was still there in how I turned myself into a pretzel to try to please the people on my Marketing team. It also showed up when I first became a life coach. I tried to follow the success formula that everyone ELSE said worked. “Just do these 10 steps, rinse and repeat and you will have the life of your dreams.”

Nope. Didn’t work for me.

Then a message I had heard along the way, finally sunk in.

The message was,

“How you do anything is how you do everything.”

The reason I wasn’t creating success with any of the career paths I’d explored had nothing to do with passion…I was excited about each one of them.  Rather, it had to do with my ever-present anxious people-pleasing energy.

Even though I was passionate about these new paths, and exploring the road less traveled, I was STILL INSIDE MY HEAD! I hadn’t dropped down into my body. I was still constantly thinking about those 200+ eyes watching me and judging me. Worse, I was judging myself based upon the response I assumed they’d have (not their actual response). Ha! The joke was on me.

Of course, for a long time I didn’t know what to do about this realization. Being me, being unapoloetically me all the time, sounded amazing, but there was no playbook. And, in reality, it was freaking HARD. People pleasing is soooo easy. You just say yes and do what you know others want you to do. Being you and being successful at it, I had NO freaking CLUE how to create that.

Fortunately, in the beautiful way the Universe provides, a friend of a friend introduced me to Human Design.

BAM!

My Human Design Chart gave me my own road map to success! Holy Crap…I didn’t have to try to “figure it out” totally alone (which doesn’t work anyway!).

As I have continued to experiment with my Human Design Chart, the path to success as Me Me Me MEEEEEEE, has been incredibly grounding. I am finally connecting with my body in profound ways. Thanks to understanding my own inner authority and strategy (from my chart) I can make the best decisions for me. Knowing how to drop down into my body and out of my head has made all the difference in stepping into success.

Loves, if you haven’t already, I invite you to explore your Human Design Chart. Get started free, here.

Xoxo

Molls