Positive desire is desire where all the selfish desires have been recognized and let go of. Only the desire that leads to win-win-win or in other words the good of all, remain.

When I began my conscious growth journey in 2007 I misunderstood Desire as evil and then I tried to abandon my desires. This of course did not lead to good results; as my own growth stagnated the growth of others did so as well, which wasn’t a win at all for anybody.

Later on I learned that there is a difference between a positive desire and selfish desire. Positive desire is something that has been recognized to be win-win-win, something worth sacrificing for, whereas selfish desire is harmful, either “just win” or “win-lose.”

As a word desire encapsulates these both, however when specified as positive or selfish desire they become recognized, that’s why I choose to use these adjectives to keep my own and your thinking more accurate.

Reason why it is important for us to have accurate thinking is that we forget so easily! I am speaking now of experience: I have forgotten the concept of positive desire, even though it had great impact on me when I first recognized it.

Learning is remembering and forgetting. Over time our minds try to compress our knowledge into smaller and smaller space and thus the adjectives might drop out. Yet I think it’s very important to distinguish that there are different kinds of desires, and the ones that lead to win-win-win solutions are positive desires that should be cultivated in life.

 

The Middle Way

In life, saying just yes or no is easy. Yet there is alternative path, the middle way. This is the road less travelled. Someone might have gone through it, however jungle has a long time ago reclaimed it and no trace remains.

Creating the alternative path requires risk, energy and effort. Not very pleasant words for our comfort loving characters.

The very definition of love by Dr. Scott M. Peck is the willingness to grow in order to nurture the growth others. Our good intentions never actualize unless we are willing to sacrifice some of our time, energy and comfort for the sake of others.

Combining the drive, or positive desire for results with right intentions are the energy that help us to create the way.

The path to pursue win-win-win is a long, but worthy one.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Where to Start?

Path of the positive desire, is the middle way. The path begins by saying no to the no and no to the yes. Instead of saying no or yes, you say: “no and yes?” You say no to everything that is against your values and then create an alternative offering that is good for everyone involved. You are not willing to compromise anything important. Therefore you’ll need to know what is important to you, what do you value, what do you stand for?

By making a stand you will reject and you’ll be vulnerable for rejection. Yet you are confident in your ability to communicate your message in caring and nonviolent, so that everyone understands that you are doing it for them, them and them.

And if this does not happen, you’ll keep on learning and honing your way until you become the way.

One the way you’ll risk everything you have without any guarantee of any return.

Have a great day!

Janne

Tagged: change, communication, compromise, conscious growth, desire, energy, interconnectedness, learning, Mahatma Gandhi, middle way, non-violent communication, nonviolence, nurturing, nvc, oneness, path, positive desire, rejection, risk, sacrifice, thinking, vulnerability, win-win-win