the first in years.

seems to be screen related,
lays me out and leaves me retching
when I stare too long
into the light and dark of it.

all I’ve got in my head
is a deep blue mistake
rimmed in white daggers
for the last several hours.

still here. 
still doing it.
still staring.

this is the most american thing I’ve done today:

given myself
excruciating pain
through the act of discussing
excruciating pain 

and using the source of
excruciating pain

to do so.