This is a new year. For me it is a time to start over. I have to take the time to think over all that has Happened in 2008; remember all the mistakes I made, the good and bad things that have happened, learn from them and try not to make the same mistakes in 2009.

This year I am working on being more independent. I am for lack of a better term be a little more selfish. I spend so many years taking care of everyone else. Making sure everyone else was OK that I did not take the time to take care of myself. I have reaped the rewards of not taking care of myself. I have no respect from my family, they never say thank you for anything I do for them. I know they expect it now so they don't even bother to show any form of appreciation. Even some of my so called friends behave in the same fashion. So they will be pleasantly disappointed when I start acting like them.

It's almost infuriating to give so much of yourself, and look up and realize you have not a damn thing to show for it. One of my family members actually told me that I had basically wasted my life. Initially I was insulted that he actually said that but the more I think about it, the more I agree. I had wasted my life. I put my life on hold for my family, denied myself of a life. Now I am older, stuck in the situation that I am in and have nothing positive to show for it. Only High Blood Pressure, dark circles around my eyes, weight gain and stress.

So this year I am going to be more selfish and focus on making myself a better me. Zero tolerance for BS in 2009.