Today, my heart was reminded of the people I work with and for daily. I saw them with renewed eyes.

Cheryl is an older Woman who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. She hears persecutory voices harassing her… constantly, as far as I can tell. She is often curt, obstinate, and argumentative– which I can very easily attribute to the fact she almost certainly is always hearing negative voices. I will admit, Cheryl’s argumentative nature has gotten the best of me more than once.

Today was one of those days. I ran into Cheryl and she already flying off the handle– screaming and swearing and provoking arguments with anyone who passed by. I walked her outside the building and tried my best to be patient while she got all her screaming out. I’m no Mental health professional, but sometimes I really do believe it feels a little better to blow off steam. So I allowed her that room– begrudgingly. I resented the time I stood there with Cheryl, waiting for her to finish yelling before I intervened. Still, she quieted before long, we had a brief discussion on stress tolerance, and then carried on with our task for the day.

I wont bore you guys with the details of our outing, but while we in line at a store, I found myself zoning out. Everything else had just become so much more alluring to me than devoting my full Attention to this woman. Each time I tried to bring my attention back to her, I found my eyes attracted to the cashier mechanically scanning items… the bright, sunny day outside… the hangnail on my left thumb…

At one point I found my attention directed at a balloon someone was holding in the line over. It was a brightly-lettered happy Birthday balloon with curling ribbon cascading from it’s knot. I forced my attention back to Cheryl and found myself wondering when her birthday was. If I remembered correctly, it had passed recently without my having so much as wished her a happy day. Yikes.

The memory of her previous birthday then flashed into my mind. She had come into the office, cheerful for a change because it was her birthday… but again, no one had remembered. She kept inviting people to join her in running to the store for grab milk so she could have a special birthday lunch. Later that day, I saw her in the deli– alone– sitting behind a half-pint carton of milk and downing spoonfuls of Frosted Flakes. And that had been her birthday celebration.

It struck me anew the lonely life this woman must lead. Not only does she fear everyone she is around because of the voices she hears… but her defensive actions prevent her from making friends. She must be in her late 50s, yet she has no significant other or children, few if any friends, and an estranged family who doesn’t know how to Support her any longer. This woman’s Mental Illness is truly keeping her in isolation, obliterating her chances of having a positive social support network.

Loneliness: The forgotten side effect of mental Illness. Who wants to be without community, love, and support?

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Filed under: Vision Tagged: Cheryl, community, humanity, loneliness, Mental Health, mental illness, schizophrenia, support