1: What is the strangest thing you heve ever found in your shoes?

That transvestite with the mole just to the left of her asshole...god, I hope that was a mole!

2: If someone was driving the wrong way down a one way street towards you what would you shout at them?

"Danger! Olestra can cause anal leakage!"

3: If you had one day on earth to devote to world peace what would you do first?

I would burn all my Nazi propiganda literture that I have been handing out. Yes, I would burn it in an orphanage while I waltzed with an invisible partner and pissed myself.

4: Do you like corduroy pants?

Only if they are skin tight around my genitiles.

5: When/if you get to heaven what is the most surprising thing God would have had to overlook for you to have ended up there?

Definitly the puppy killing... Or the retard molesting.... Maybe all the masturbating...In public...

6: What is most important in your ideal man/woman?

I like a woman with Prolapsus Uteri, the way the womb falls out of a beautifull woman is like oysters and oreos, inseperable.

7: Do you believe in God?

There is an old saying, "Give unto others while crying over skim milk. For thine is a sow's purse. Unto the wind never shall you pee uphill, nor shall you walk in the hidden valley ranch of doubt."

8: What's the most embaresing thing a stripper has ever said to you?

Sir, please put your clothes on and stop dancing, this is my set.

9: If you had to fuck an animal, which one would you pick?

Eric Burdon, because he was the lead singer.
1

0: Have you ever had milk squirt out of your nose from laughing?

Yes, that ruined a perfectly good lap dance. But, that's what I get for paying for a lactating stripper!
1

1: If you met Ghandi what would you say to him?

"You fucking asshole! Tell me the truth, what do you really think of western civilization... fucking prick!"

12: If you were in a cage match with Hulk Hogan how long would you last?

Depends how tight he is.

13: Have you ever been arrested?

no

14: Do you have more shoes than there are days in a month?

Depends what you mean by shoes. If you mean something I put my foot into, wiggle my toes around and sigh due to the comfort, then yes I do! If you mean shoes... then no I don't.

15: Do you prefer circumcized or uncircumcized?

hemmed

16: If you were riding a Camel in the desert and it died just as night was coming on and it dropped to thirty degrees while you layed in the sand shaking and crying from the cold, would you cut open the camel and crawl inside for the warmth?

Shit, I've been inside a camel before without cutting it, why start now?

17: He-Man or Lion O?

No, Chad, stupid!

18: Have you ever been Caught Stealing from a bum?

No, but I have been caught stealing bum!

19: Boxers or Briefs?

I would take Tatiana Ali anyday over a summons.

20: And, finaly, if the lights were off and you were sitting all alone on a folding chair, drinking buttermilk, listening to Handel's Mesiah and slowly rocking back and forth while writing a survey, what would have had to go wrong in your life to bring you to this point?

Absolutely nothing!

See what I mean? Although surveys generally suck, this one is at least fun to read. Next survey you do and then post, thinking that the rest of us give a shit, at least take the time to interest the reader. Now I am going to vommit up all this buttermilk and, hopefully, cry myself to sleep.