Everyone has problems. Even in fairy tales. "...I loved this Book. ...I was enamored by the characters of Hannah and Jake. ...a good book boils down to this…I loved her plot. It worked. Cap it all off with an ending that…well, read it for yourself. I closed the book satisfied.-- Patrick Sean Lee
Book Title - 10 of 101. Goldilocks by Patria Dunn
I’m going to give this one a 10. A single word, one that nearly everyone is familiar with that brings an immediate image to mind. We’re all familiar with the fairytale…what’s the connection to the character within, you wonder? Or IS there even a connection? “Bear” in mind, I haven’t read the blurb yet.
About the Book...
There are three bears, a girl with honey gold blonde hair, and a secret lair, but this story is far from the children’s fairytale our parents used to read to us when we were kids.
At seventeen years old, Hannah Adler has already lost her mother to a brutal murder, and her father to a job that keeps him away more often than not. It couldn’t get any worse for this depressed teen, except it does when she is abruptly uprooted from the city and only home she’s ever known and deposited in the gold rich mountains of Hinsdale Colorado. Never one to make friends easily, the only thing that keeps Hannah grounded is her star quality cross country talent. While running through the woods behind the cabin, that is now her home, gives her solace, Hannah quickly discovers that this seemingly enchanted forest is hiding something that no one is willing to talk about.
Being eaten by one of the many mutant wolves, that keep escaping through the underground tunnels of the Golden Wonder mine, is the least of her worries. When Hannah stumbles upon a hidden cave deep in the woods, the bear that saves her life only adds more mystery to the sable eyed boy she’s come to know as Jake. But there is something that Jake isn’t telling her, and Hannah is determined to find out what.
What she uncovers has not only been a secret for over a millennia, but a truth that forces the fate of an endangered human race into a young Hannah’s hands. Unknowingly born of a strange primal lineage, she finds herself fighting to save the only family she has left, the love that she’d never expected, and ultimately the entire world. What begins as a simple curiosity will lead her into a legacy that no one will soon forget.
At seventeen years old, Hannah Adler has already lost her mother to a brutal murder, and her father to a job that keeps him away more often than not. It couldn’t get any worse for this depressed teen, except it does when she is abruptly uprooted from the city and only home she’s ever known and deposited in the gold rich mountains of Hinsdale Colorado. Never one to make friends easily, the only thing that keeps Hannah grounded is her star quality cross country talent. While running through the woods behind the cabin, that is now her home, gives her solace, Hannah quickly discovers that this seemingly enchanted forest is hiding something that no one is willing to talk about.
Being eaten by one of the many mutant wolves, that keep escaping through the underground tunnels of the Golden Wonder mine, is the least of her worries. When Hannah stumbles upon a hidden cave deep in the woods, the bear that saves her life only adds more mystery to the sable eyed boy she’s come to know as Jake. But there is something that Jake isn’t telling her, and Hannah is determined to find out what.
What she uncovers has not only been a secret for over a millennia, but a truth that forces the fate of an endangered human race into a young Hannah’s hands. Unknowingly born of a strange primal lineage, she finds herself fighting to save the only family she has left, the love that she’d never expected, and ultimately the entire world. What begins as a simple curiosity will lead her into a legacy that no one will soon forget.
About the Author...
Patria L. Dunn hails from the small town of Louisa Virginia. Born in 1981, a true child of the 80's; her interests range from classic to unimaginable. A young woman with many talents and many titles such as: Pianist, Author, Poet and most importantly Mother, if you ask her about her accomplishments she will tell you: "The best is yet to come."
And Now for the Review...
Review by Patrick Sean Lee
I’m going to give this one a 10. A single word, one that nearly everyone is familiar with that brings an immediate image to mind. We’re all familiar with the fairytale…what’s the connection to the character within, you wonder? Or IS there even a connection? “Bear” in mind, I haven’t read the blurb yet.
2. Book Cover - 10 of 10Again, I have to give this a 10. Maybe a 9.5. No, a 10. It’s striking with the deep green background of a dense forest; a bear peering out at Goldilocks. Okay, the connection is being made. But HOW will the author update the fairytale? It’s obviously set in our era because of the next nice aspect…the image of a beautiful young girl dominating. Something about her bangs? The almost-detached look on her face? Whatever, it does its job marvelously. The complimentary colors add to the impressiveness of the entire image, especially the text of the title, blending the greens and golds, and the author name at the bottom that mirrors the title, less pronounced. Excellent.
And now for the ridiculously long interview!
3. The First 500... 10 of 10
No doubt here. You must captivate the potential reader in those first few opening pages, and Dunn does it extremely well. We have immediate scene-setting, and the introduction of Paul Adler, father of Hannah, aka Goldilocks. He has a problem. He has terrible memories of a slain wife, and on top of that, an unhappy daughter with whom he can’t/hasn’t spent enough time with lately. But perhaps more importantly, we are set into a definite place with him, with movement; an apartment in D.C., and we’re immediately grounded. I like that. I want to continue reading.
4. Age Recommendation/Genre - - 10 of 10
Definitely no problem here. With one addendum: I don’t see either genre or age recommendation listed anywhere. I assume, however, that it’s YA, meant for ages 15 and over.
5. Presentation/format - 8 of 10
It’s hard to beat Amazon’s digital services. We’re all quite used to their great book interior designs these days. I would only have wanted to see a bit more care taken inside to separate chapters; start a new page for each transition. Even so, it’s a minor thing and really didn’t distract. Note: I’ll clarify this at the end of my review…
6. Theme and originality 10 of 10
It’s quite common for writers to take hold of mythological or fairy tale themes, and then give them a new twist. The key to success is in the re-creation of an entire world, or a microcosm world, utilizing characters with whom the reading public is familiar. Again, though, the reader approaches the book with a certain degree of skepticism. I certainly did. Are Goldilocks and the Three Bears cliché in this telling? Not in Dunn’s book. They are light years different than Southey’s creations.
Theme? It isn’t new—Love blossoms, is endangered, but in the end it conquers in the face of great odds. It’s a tried and true theme, and Dunn succeeds.
7. Description and Enhancement - 9 of 10
I’m tempted to give Goldilocks a solid 10, but there are flaws in places that I’ll cover later. Patria Dunn has something unique to talented writers; the ability to move characters through situations smoothly, and nearly flawlessly. Example of her narrative skill:
“Golden hair swirled around the figure that was reaching for her. That smile, those eyes, she’d almost forgotten how beautiful they were in person. There was so much she wanted to say, so much that belched up from her belly and lodged in the back of her throat. Her hand lifted to close the gap and then drew back in surprise at the trickle of blood trailing from an inch long slit, down her arm.
Hannah flinched as the pain suddenly became real, her fingers suddenly intertwined with Jake’s as he pulled her away from what she’d just found again. She wanted to fight him, to grab hold of her mother and never let go, but she couldn’t. She was weightless and floating despite the heaviness that suddenly consumed her. Blackness threatened to suck her under once more, her eyes straining to focus on the fading figure.”
There is plot, the most important part of any novel, but supporting that plot a writer must have the indefinable instinct to pull extremely colorful descriptions, seemingly out of thin air. It isn’t easy. I think it’s a gift. The book is loaded with this kind of excellence. Particularly moving is the second paragraph in the above example.
8. Intrigue 10 of 10
I must add tension to this category. They’re soul mates in novel-writing. Without any qualms, a 10.
What will happen to a girl uprooted from a large city and flung into a backwater Colorado mining town? And worse, not even IN the town itself; stuck in a cabin miles away in the mountains? How will Lindsey disrupt Hannah’s life because of her jealousy? Can Hannah survive those attacks out in the wilds? Will Jake’s father go ballistic when he is forced to meet Hannah halfway through the story? In what way will the Kind resolve the growing dilemma? Can they? And more, and more.
So, it’s all there, cleverly set up, and each time resolved. Yes, 10.
9. Mechanics and Grammar 5 of 10
This is the one area in which Patria Dunn fell. It might be fine for a teen or sub-teen to read (I even question that), but conscientious readers MUST stumble time and again at the plethora of oopses…all of which could have been addressed before publication by utilizing the talents of a good line editor. Even a thorough self-edit would have caught most of the misspells and other mistakes. I began making a list early on. From that list:
Page 14-tree tops overheard,…”overhead”.
Page 17-her feet carrying her further…a common error by writers. “farther” (a distance).
Page 18-halted his full on run…what happened to hyphens? “Full-on”
Chapter 11-soft sighs ever so often,…”every”.
Chapter 13, page 77-There scent…Our eyes, as writers, gloss over the obvious. “Their eyes”.
“ “, Page 79-its sharp teeth barred at the sound of another howl…”teeth bared”.
Chapter 18, Page 101--ran his fingers threw his tangled locks…”through”.
Chapter 21, Page 117--there had been no incidences at the mine today. “incidents”.
In ones and twos, these errors can be forgiven, but unfortunately, the entire book’s merit is diminished when we continually stumble over them.
Maybe nit-picky, but this one struck me hard. “Chapter 27, Pg. 146--Good, but you’re watching my face when you should be watching my body. Which way will I move next?“ I red-highlighted, ‘you’re watching my face when you should be watching my body.’ Oh Lord, no. ANY combatant is trained to watch the eyes of an opponent! Jake is a trained fighter. Powerful and cagey. I don’t think Rone would have taught him to watch a fierce opponent’s body. The eyes always give away the next move. Okay, yes, that was nit-picky, but it displayed an error in research (or experience). A distraction from an otherwise moving scene.
Commas missing in many sentences where a pause is needed, but these days that little beast is used differently—sometimes TOO often, and at other times, not enough. Note A.S. Byatt’s punctuation (Mann/Booker winner) compared to McCourt’s or McCarthy’s (Pulitzer winners). Go fish.
10. Overall Impression 10 of 10
DESPITE the low rating I felt compelled to give for “mechanics and grammar”, regarding the lack of basic editing needed, I loved this book. The reasons are manifold; a few I mentioned above…great cover, great title…but mainly I was enamored by the characters of Hannah and Jake. How Dunn presented their vastly different worlds and personalities. Hannah is real, thanks to Dunn’s ability to begin with a girl in her teens, troubled, but who grows continuously throughout the course of the book, in an environment that would sink most citified teens. Jake, who has the same teenage angsts, although initiated under vastly different circumstances, and manifested in ways unique to his character. Not strangely, I was taken by the romantic scenes between Jake the human/bear and Hannah, the teenage girl. VERY well done. The secondary characters throughout were rendered well, if perhaps not developed entirely—to the extent I would like to have seen. But seriously…and a good book boils down to this…I loved her plot. It worked. Cap it all off with an ending that…well, read it for yourself. I closed the book satisfied.
A note: Patrick read the book in Word doc. format. He assumes this was the final edition as presented at Amazon Books. He did go to the 'Look Inside' feature at Amazon in order to view actual formatting, and to see if the grammar/punctuation errors were there confirming what he had assumed.
The Bestowing of the Blossoms...
After all the points are tallied, we're pleased to say that Patria Dunn's Goldilocks has earned 91 out of 100 points giving it 5 BIG BEAUTIFUL BLOSSOMS! Way to go. We wish all the best to Ms. Dunn and hope to be reading more from her soon!
And now for the ridiculously long interview!
Your Name: Patria L. Dunn Book Title: Goldilocks
1. You probably get asked this a lot, but for my readers, please tell us…was there a ‘moment’ in your life where you decided ‘I am going to be a writer!’
My first book started off as my own personal diary. One day I decided to have fun and pretend I was someone else and created this whole story that kept growing longer and longer until finally I typed it all into my computer. Two years after I finished it, I happen to mention it to a coworker, she read it, and declared me a writer. And that was that.
2. Was there any one person in your life who inspired you to write?
My children! What better way to leave them a legacy and a piece of me, than by writing books. They will be able to go back and read my stuff, and share with their own children. Just that thought, keeps me wanting to write more. Kids are great, aren't they?!
3. If you were stuck on a deserted island and you could bring 3 of your favorite books, what would they be and why?
Memoirs Aren’t Fairytales by Marni Mann, The adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain, To kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
4. In today's hectic world, it seems like people just don't have enough hours in the day to do the things they want to do because of all the things they need to do. If you had 72 hours of uninterrupted ‘me time' what would you do? Would you write? Would you learn how to do underwater basket weaving? (Inquiring minds want to know!)
I would WRITE!!!! Writing is a side passion for me right now. I am a wife, and full time working mother first. ME time?!?!?!? What is that?! LOL Right now my writing hours are from 11pm to 2 am and then it’s back up at 6:00am to get the kids ready and myself off to work, from there, my day doesn’t calm down until the kids are in bed at 9 every night.
5. How did you come up with the title of your book? Was it something you’d always had in the back of your mind and the story was built around it – or did it come to you in a flash of brilliance somewhere in the middle of writing the story? Or were you one of those poor souls who wrote the whole book calling it one thing and then, after you were done – you said, ‘No, that just isn’t right’
For my most recent release, Goldilocks, I was sitting on the bed brainstorming about what I wanted to write next, secretly wishing that I could write a fairytale that was geared more toward young adults and adults. In the back of my mind, I didn’t think it would be widely accepted, but the more I thought about it the more I decided…Hey! Who doesn’t love a good fairytale right? Especially a grown up one. Goldilocks was always my favorite as a kid, and so the idea was born, mapped out and written into a book. (Pat, the reviewer thought it was a pretty good idea!)
6. If you were to remove the actual title – so that only the ‘cover’ was visible to readers – what do you think would make your book stand out from other in the genre?
The ominous looking bear in the background is most definitely an eye catcher, even though he’s in the shadows. What stands out about Goldilocks, is that everyone will see the cover and title and immediately think of the children’s fairytale, but absolutely know that there are some not so childlike things going on in this book!
7. Who designed your cover? Did you play a major role in how it came out looking? Or did you say ‘I really don’t know what I want on it – but when I see it…I’ll know’?
Steven Novak designed my cover. I pitched my basic idea to him, which main consisted of ‘scary bear’, ‘blonde girl’, and ‘creepy woods’ and two days later he sent me back the cover of Goldilocks that you see now. No changes were needed, he’d brought my six little words to life, and I fell in love with it the moment I saw it. The paperback cover, in your hands, looks even better than the cover on screen does.
8. Thinking of the First 500 words to your book, what was the main idea you wanted your readers to walk away with?
Everyone has problems. Even in fairytales.
9. If possible – please write ‘the hook’ of your story in 25 words or less.
Three bears, a girl with honey blonde hair, a secret lair, but a story far from the children’s fairytale our parents read us as kids.
10. Does your book fit into more than one genre? If so, what is the ‘main’ genre?
Young Adult Paranormal Fiction
Or
Young Adult Fantasy Fiction
Is there really a difference? (To those who are Young Adult, yes - to those of us who wouldn't want to be YA again for a zillion dollars -- no! HA!)
11. What is the age demographic you are shooting for with your book?
Ages 12 to 100! Everyone loves a fairytale right? And I have found that my other young adult books usually have a pretty good older adult following.
12. If you had to compare your book to another book in the same genre … what would it be and why?
I’d have to compare it to one of my other young adult books, Zerrin. The same basics that move the story forward are there, but they both travel very different paths getting through to the end.
13. Are there any parallels between the characters, the setting, the plot to thing you’ve experienced in your own life?
Maybe some of the character’s emotions, and passions about certain things, but no scenarios in particular from the book are my from my own experience in life.
14. How long did it take you to go from 'the idea of writing your book’ to the 'finished product'?
This book has been my longest project by far. Total writing time was about 8 weeks (2 months) But I started on it in February 2013. Wrote for 2 weeks straight and then took a break from writing until December 2013. I had a lot going on in my life, with my kids and family. I got to the point where I couldn’t make myself sit down and get much done, so I put it aside for a while. I started working on it again just before Christmas and finished it the second week in January J
15. If you go back and ‘undo’ something in your book what would it be?
I couldn’t undo anything in the book, but I have rather, thought of a few things I wish I would have added! Like a few more fight scenes or a death.
16. If a Hollywood agent came to you today and asked you to choose your dream cast to be in the movie version – who would you want to play the leads?
Ellen Paige & Chris Hemsworth (Fabulous choices!)
17. What is next on the horizon for you?
A Goldilocks Sequel. But I won’t start working on it until probably April of 2014. I wasn’t originally planning for a sequel, but I had so many more places that I wanted the book to go that I decided to end the first book where I did, and let a sequel come out of it.
18. Please, indulge the readers of this review – Do you have any sort of ‘ritual’ you go through when you’re working? Perhaps you must always have a cup of coffee and a cheese Danish before you can even consider writing? Maybe you only write after you’ve had your morning walk? Mayhap you wait until it’s completely quiet to gather your thoughts – or – you like to ‘rock out’?
No ritual. Just getting to the computer without any interruptions is good enough for me. I write in the bed, at the kitchen table, or on the sofa. Anywhere where I can find a quiet place. I don’t really snack, or drink while I’m writing, because it interrupts my flow, that’s what breaks are for. I also don’t listen to music while I’m actually writing because it’s distracting.
19. What book sits on your nightstand? Or are you so tired of looking at words by the time you are ready to rest your head – the last thing you want to do is read?
I am ashamed to say that I have kind of given up on reading print books. I love the feel of them in my hands, and the smell of them when you crack them open. I am the girl that used to visit the library with an empty backpack on my back every week, anticipating filling it up with new books. Technology is my friend, and while I certainly love print books, I prefer all my books in one place and that’s on my kindle. Right now I am reading Catch A Falling Star by Cristine M. Butler. (It's okay to love your Kindle, really!)
20. Seeking a review that is not by friends or family can be a risky sort of thing because for the most part writers feel pretty secure in asking people close to them to read their work and put down a few words. But when you step away from those closest to you and ask for an outside review, you never know what the person or persons who review your work may say. With that in mind, please tell us, what led you to The Magnolia Blossom Review?
I am the type of writer that would rather hear a well thought out bad critique than a good critique. I don’t ask close friends and family to review my work for that reason. If they choose too, that’s fine, but when seeking out review, I only contact people that I don’t know. You can’t grow from twenty ‘It Was AWESOME!’ reviews. But you can from one ‘Started off a bit slow, writing was repetitive in places, you dropped the ball at the end, and never got it back…’ review. Just an example, but I’m more apt to want to sit down with that bad reviewer with a ink pen and paper and beg them to tell me more. With every book I write, I want to grow. And I’m happy that there are readers out there who love my stuff flaws and all, but perfection is what I’m striving towards.
21. What sort of advice would you give someone considering becoming an Indie Author? (As, in truth, that’s how most all writers start out since agents don’t typically run up to us and go ‘YOU! YOU! You have the look of a bestselling author … please, for the love of all that is good – let me be your agent!’
Be prepared to do the work! There is so much more to being an Indie Author than just writing a book. It’s a full time job that you have to be dedicated to if you plan on getting anywhere. Set a plan and stick to it.
22. Have you ever experienced ‘Writer’s Block’? If so, what do you do to get over it? (Or, are you a writer who feels there’s no such thing as ‘Writer’s Block? If so, please explain your thoughts)
This is how I avoid writers block. I write SOMETHING, Anything! I have always told my fellow writers, it’s easier to go back and correct pure crap, than it is to correct a blank page.
23. As for your thought process … Do you brainstorm, outline, storyboard, or write short (meaning write a short story from beginning to end then start filling in where you think it needs more ‘oomph’ until it’s so full it’s done)? Or do you just sit down and write and what comes to you comes to you?
I usually write down how I was the beginning to start, how I want it to end, and then a few things I would like to see happen in the middle. I fill in the rest as I go. I don’t do extensive outline. A couple notes on paper, and I’m good to go.
24. What question do you wish that someone would ask about your book, but nobody has? Write it out here, then answer it!
Q.
If offered a chance to have Goldilocks traditionally published, would you take it?A. No! Well not exactly. I would sell the paperback rights and movie rights to any of my books, but never the ebook rights. My ultimate goal as a writer, would be to see one of my books turned into a movie. It’s a dream, I’ll keep wishing on until it happens.
25. Please take a moment to list all the places where people can learn more about you and your books…
www.facebook.com/thegiftstrilogy http://patriadunn.moonlitdreams.com [email protected]
26. Last, but certainly NOT least – if your book is for sale please list all the venues where it may be found. AND THE PRICE. Please be aware that even though, for example, you may set a price your book at $1.49US its cost will be different outside of the US. Also, if you’re listed at iTunes, too – the book is typically about $.50 to $1 more expensive.
Goldilocks is exclusively on Amazon.com through July 2014, and is listed at $4.99
