As a child, he’s cute and adorable. He’s also a good heart like an angel. While I’m a stubborn girl and disappoint my parents many times, my Brother is forgiving. He would share the candies he bought with his little pocket money with me. He would fight against other boys who teased me. As bad and selfish as I was as a sister, he loved me and cared for me. That time I was too bad not to realize how protective he was to me, and missed the chance to take good care of him. Instead, I enjoyed all of the yummy things myself. I didn’t want to teach him the foreign language as I didn’t want him to excel me in the only thing I was better than him. Now I think back about those days, feel sorry and want to go back to treat him as sincerely as I can. If only…. That word may be just something I say not to feel more regretful for what had done wrong. 

When I was a school girl, I was a bad girl. Thinking about how bad I was? Everything about me was bad, from my personality to my appearance. As I entered university, I got better, but better in a way that not too positive. I didn’t have many friends and I was bad at communication; that’s why I always tried to treat others well to gain their little attention to me. And that time, I studied in a big city far away from my hometown. I realized how precious my family was. I missed my parents, came to love the food my mom made and I used to hate. I missed my brother and was mournful over how I had treated him in the past. I studied hard to earn the scholarship that could help me with some daily expenses and reduce the financial burden my mom had been shouldering. I worked part-time and used the earnings to buy clothes and presents for my parents and brother. Though I was better in some ways, I was still selfish. I was still sometimes jealous as my brother was much better than me in every single way. How bad I was! Was I a monster? I was happy when he had some pimples on his face, just like me. Do you hate me when reading this? Sure, you are. I hated myself too. My brother was, most of the time, positive about things happening to him. He’s mature in thinking and angelic in his heart. On the contrary, I always hoped for good things that happened to me and became stressed about things that didn’t go as my expectation.

One of the worst things I have regretfully done to him was, I was the main reason that made him fail to be accepted in the talented class. That’s when I finished my university day and left the dormitory. I found another place to live that was as bad as you could imagine. The restroom was used by everyone in the building, and it was damn dirty. The bathroom wasn’t just better. It’s too small; even a girl with the medium height like me found it difficult to enter, not to mention having proper bathing there. Where I slept was old without a bed. And it was his first time coming to the big city I had been living in and visiting my place. Instead of enjoying the time there, he was worried about me. He had meals cooked by me. I was bad at cooking. How awful I was! He visited my house also to have some stays and gear up for his exam on some next days. If he had passed, he would have been received in the talent class of the city university and enjoyed a very high chance to study abroad. His bright future was waiting. But instead, he got sick the time he was living there. And I was an irresponsible sister who couldn’t fend for myself, let alone caring for him the time he stayed with me.

But as I said, he was positive. He chose to study at a normal class and did his best in studying and figuring out what he wanted to do in his career. His hard work has paid off. He has studied abroad in Germany and traveled around the world using the money he has earned himself. Today he’s confidently making a presentation for his graduation thesis. And sure, it will end as best as it can. As you know, he’s a genius. I don’t mean he’s a born genius. It’s made by his meticulous planning, determination, and hard work. He believes in miracles and has good preparation to make them come true. That’s what I have learned from him. Though it’s late, I will try to realize all I want to do. You know, you just live once.

Until now, I have become a better sister. I love myself, and I love him. I am better partly because I am mature physically and mentally now. I know the utmost importance of the family, how preciously meaning it is, and how I should do my best to embrace it as well as I can. I am more responsible now as a sister also because of all of the things my brother has done to me. I will be an evil monster indeed if I don’t reflect myself after all he has done to me. Though there are also times I have been selfish to him, I am trying and will try. Instead of mourning over the past, I will be living in the present, and live fully. That also means to be a proud sister to my proud brother. B. ya, thank you, I love you…