I love Clothes and dressing up, I would not say I am trendy or stylish in the main stream kind of way but I know what I wear is more than right for me.

I do struggle at times with what to wear, normally when anxiety is rearing its overly large head in my direction and everything just doesn’t look or feel right.

This often happens whilst I am criticising myself which usually involves looking at a mirror. As i cast my eyes into my reflection I visualise all my fears, all my disappointments and all of this from simply not liking the way those skinny jeans make my arse look!

I cannot be on my own in that respect, we all suffer from a split second of uncertainty (30 mins for me) once we have thrown on our Wardrobe and its even worst when its happening from within the changing rooms of your favourite high street store (I guess that’s why we all shop online now eh!). We could quite easily bat this off and push it to the side but let’s take a closer look into this and dive into the parachute pants of our complex minds on what we think of ourselves.

Previously I have spoken about my childhood dreams of wanting to make it as a west end musical theatre actress. Well when it comes to what we wear – this too is a basis of who we are and what we are all about.

FASHION is part of our Identity. Think Audrey Hepburn and I am sure you will think of the pearls, shades, maxi coat and the diamond earrings – she oozed elegance.

I decided back in January that now I was happy with my post baby body, it was time to start investing in myself again and this included my fashion choices.

I wanted to look like “me” again and not the frumpy mess that I had let myself become.

I lost half my wardrobe after the first cull, throwing out the items I didn’t “love” and I was left with 14 pairs of black leggings (who doesn’t love leggings) and a mix match of shirts and jeans...hmmm I really didn’t have anything to wear! Oh and I had no money to buy a whole new set of clothes.

After having children a mother may be fraught with issues of image, identity, and gender, fashion can mess with even the most sound of mind. Although we all have foundations that remain intact forever! There are elements of us that are constantly changing and our fashion is one of them.

Anxiety can cause this problem: You may tend to wear plain, baggy non descript clothes , even silly looking clothes.

You feel ashamed, anxious and shy to wear clothes that you have been said to look good in. Basically, you don’t want any positive attention as much as you want negative attention.

It all comes down to social value or status, and what you believe your social value is. It’s where you think you “fit” in the social ladder. This is typical after having children, you are now a mum. Should you dress like a mum? How does a mum dress?

See, you have an identity in your mind that you have developed over time and you become comfortable with it, that identity is normally based on what you think other people think of you. “I am a mum now, I can’t wear that” Acting outside of that identity is hard to do and can really push you out of a comfort zone. I feel this can be the main reason a lot of new mums feel held back from expressing themselves when it comes to fashion.

If you think other mums will think you’re a unfit mum when you wear these clothes, then wearing the “cool” clothes you use to wear will make you feel like a mummy fraud.

Is this a survival mechanism?

Do we dress the same to blend into the “perfect mother” status?

If we appear the same then no one will question if our method or actions are different to theirs?

It is possible to get rid of your insecurity over time, the bad news is that there’s no reset button that can give you the confidence to choose the clothes you want to wear over the clothes you think you should wear.

I started copying the other mothers around me, I was learning daily how to mum and with all the dramas of that I didn’t want my clothes to be a beacon for my new mum mistakes, I was happy to blend in and hope no one saw the baby sick on my striped top.

What I didn’t realise though was this style didn’t express who I was, and instead of feeling comfortable in my new mummy attire I felt like I was wearing someone else’s clothes.

It had become my uniform, this is what I had to wear now as my job was mum.

Its like at the end of a work day you cant wait to remove the work clothes, I was wearing a costume that I stripped off as soon as I was behind closed doors.

This can make you feel like a fraud and I often felt like I was pretending to be mum as I was so uncomfortable with the job description I had given myself- I felt like I was invisible, just disappearing into a sea of mummy clones, just like another employee.

Now I sound like I am hating on the traditional “mum outfit”, I am not. Its classic and many can still express themselves but I just couldn’t.

I like bright colours, loud prints and non traditional shapes and cuts. I feel happy in them, confident even when I know I stand out like a sore thumb. Maybe because the clothes distract from the shy, anxious girl wearing them? Who knows but they make me feel like me.

I have slowly been building my wardrobe again, due to limited funds, creating a whole new look takes time.

Whether your wardrobe is currently sitting on the high street or within a charity store it is still fashion – it’s your fashion.

My rule now is always try it on, if you don’t love it, I don’t buy it!