Everything comes in three's, this is no different.
There is a very small list I look for when it comes to what I find attractive and what I don't. Of course, in this case, the attraction is purely based on who I connect with, and who I don't. ( Your dirty mind needs a break) . This is also solely based on boyfriends, husbands and partners ... while it can be said for friendships and best buddies.
Easy is a word we love to love. Everything needs to be that way, from homework to actual job, and we want to be challenged only so much. It is also the first word I think of when it comes to my relationship. The oddest thing of all is what I didn't know I liked "easy" until it had already happened to me. I cant say it was something I realized while I dated the worst possible men on the planet, but once I found someone I consider to be "easy" ... I knew it was a deal breaker. Now, lets not fog up the idea that our lives are not in fact, always easy, nor is he not full of little (pun intended) annoying habits or attributes. The biggest mistake you can make in a relationship is to think it will always be easy or your portrayal of utter bliss all the time is not completely see-through. We all know you are not in fact living the fairy tale and guess what? That's okay. The easy I am referring to is the effort it takes in order for each of you to have a good time. What you like , and how you like to do it, should be less debate and more go with the flow. He can go in the other room for hours playing a video game I cant even begin to understand, while I shop for the best pair of shoes you have ever seen. It can also be beyond the superficial. The idea of how you want to love, communicate and how you want to be treated, can all be tied nicely in a bow of ease and simplicity. Years ago , the world claimed a revolutionary thought of " he is just not that into you". Yes, a easy answer to why he cant return your call or why he picked the ugly girl over you. It rings true in a our overly complicated thought process for dating him, as it does once we tie him down. ( Your dirty mind needs a verbal warning). Relationships do not have to be dissected and picked apart, when the small things are ... you guessed it...easy.
Ego gets a bad wrap. The word normally has a terribly unpleasant description attached, the infamous and unavoidable , Ego Maniac . It can, actually be a a great thing. Ego, while it can be dangerous at higher levels, is just a touch way from self esteem and confidence. I could have deflated the three "E's' with confidence, but I have met many a confident man that had zero actual character. ( Their confidence is fake, a front , a cover up for something bigger ). Ego is the core, no effort in their being. I have not always been a fan of the ego. Most of my younger days , I hated men... and mostly for their untrustworthy sense, that ego maniac lumped into herds and masses. My own self importance had to be tested, first at a low point, followed by nearly record levels, before I could appreciate it in another.
Power is intoxicating, and the mo-jo in which he carries himself, sets a fire. In a world in which we are constantly making decisions its okay to allow someone else to make one and relinquish some of yours for nano-second ( Side note, you always remain you, always remain in control of you, and no man should take more than those split seconds ) . Partnership, team oriented, all those key words that marriage consulars, self help books, scream at you to make your marriage work .... are only as good as your individual strength and power. If you come in wounded, missing your own link, then no marriage will ever last beyond the superficial front. If your own ego, is not in check, or even allowed to flourish, there will never been a love affair bigger than your imagination.
Embodiment is a $10 word worth every penny. It can be the whole picture to what the first two slides were projecting. Its the entire package ( Your dirty mind just received its final warning) in which we sign up for. Its who they are and how they present it. There are moments of cringe ( remember, perfection is a Disney character yet to be screened) test your faith in him but quickly evaporate as they are just his cracks that if you tried to drive through, repair or cover up, would just simply implode from within. The scotch tape you use to piece together his ego, or the Elmer's glue you try to solidify her need to be loved, all disintegrate if either party does not embody what the other can give in return. He cant be the confident assured character to you... if you cannot manage it right back with your own.
Its how he, and probably we, internalize all of the above , and present it out on the relationship silver platter. He is a two way mirror, seeing yourself in him, and he in you. Ego, Easy and embodiment.
