As a child, I was Normal (not that I'm not normal now) however I didn't spend every waking moment thinking about when my next panic attack was going to happen or an anxiety attack. I often wonder what went wrong How can one panic attack that happened 3 years ago still haunt me?   The simple answer is that I don't know.

I don't know why when I'm relaxing in the comforts of my bed my heart starts pounding and it's suddenly harder to breathe.

I don't know why when I'm out with my close friends having fun I start getting nauseous.

I don't know why when I'm calm and collected and enjoying life I remember how I don't feel anxious and two seconds later my anxiousness comes back.

I don't know why a lot of this things happen...But I do know I'm coping

I do know that when my heart starts beating fast and m breathe gets shallow I just need to do my breathing exercise...

I  do know that when I start feeling nauseous to drink some water and maybe some Pepto Bismol...

I do know that when those negative thoughts come to my brain I just need to distract and keep that thought away as long as I can whether it be by playing Candy Crush or doodling swirls on my paper...
And I do know that eventually, my anxiety will be something of the past.

"I am, indeed, a king, because I know how to rule myself."

- Pietro Aretino