Those of us who take risks, make demands on the world, ask "too many" questions, or are simply deeply expressive, we hear it all the time. The call to "Grow UP!"

What does it mean, really?

Sometimes it means we've surprised them, challenged a core belief or value.

Sometimes it means they don't get it, and don't want to.

Sometimes it means we've crossed a line, spoken a truth or a thought or an emotion that the other person doesn't value, or doesn't want to deal with.

Sometimes it means we've refused to play with a common social rule because we'd rather make our own rules.

Sometimes it means we've asked a hard question about something that most people believe cannot be changed.

Sometimes it means we've insisted on being ourselves, and other people are worried about us. And sometimes they're just embarassed.

After all, what is it to play, to be "childish?" It means we are exploring, putting our energy into a focused, experimental, joyful way of living. That's a good thing, even if sometimes there are destabilizing consequences in our financial or social lives.

If we're embodying the less socialized forms of childishness, then we might want to listen to this response as a request for respect. Are we listening as well as talking? Are we paying attention to the other person's needs and values? Are we using them to create the stability we are not willing to work for ourselves? If this is the case, they're reflecting a real problem back to us, and we'd do well to pay attention.

So listen for the story behind the frustration, and act accordingly. And remember, even if you need to shift your behavior somewhat, it's never a good idea to sacrifice the joy of serious play, which is the strength and energy of children and creative adults.

Has anyone said "Grow UP!" to you recently? What did they mean? What did you do?