Today started off to be a really bad day with everything going wrong.  So what else is new?  I have been unemployed due to the economy since Oct. 30, 2009 after having worked as an office manager for a Crane Company nearly four years.  Now for the first time in my life I am drawing unemployment.

I have been unemployed before...many times.  I've lost jobs due to office mergings, loss of business, cutting costs - once I was let go after working for a large utility for nearly 22 years.  Because of my inability to to remain gainfully employed, I have managed over the years to lose one car and two houses to repossession.  

I am a nice person.  I try to think of others.  I feed stray animals.  I try not to bother anyone except when I am in a Walmart or a grocery store.  For some reason I feel I MUST speak to at least one person on each aisle.  I don't know why.  Not only that, but I want each person to acknowledge that I spoke to them.  Hmmm.  Must have an underlying issue here to analyze later.

Anyway, while working for the crane company I didn't qualify for a raise for nearly three years even though I worked very hard to get one.  The technicians, I was told, came first.  I had been renting a house from a co-worker, but eventually because of rising utility costs, I could no longer afford to keep it.  So at the ripe old age of 51, I moved back home with my mom and dad.  I felt like a dog with it's tail tucked between it's legs.

Mom has heart problems and my dad has multiple health issues.  I told myself that I was moving in to help with their care.  Thinking this helps me to stay away from thoughts of my financial failures.  Dad recently had a stroke and Mom needs me to spend a lot of time helping out, but I have a hard time letting go of the last vestiges of my life. Freedom is fleeting.

When I am not helping with dad, I am trying to find a new job, but after reading a report from the labor dept. the other day, I understand that for every job advertised, there are at least 3,000 people applying.

A little while ago, I was sitting at my desk and noticed a book tucked in my bookcase.  I saw the title "Think & Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill.  I picked it up and thumbed through it.  I had read parts of it a long time ago, but thought maybe it was time to try again.  I opened the book and began to read.

I got to thinking, what if I could garner enough insight from these pages to figure out where I have gone wrong!  The book does claim that many people used the lessons held within to change their fortunes.  Many people who had been failures just like me.  What if there is a remote possibility I can join the ranks of the financially independent!  I decided to take the challenge.  What's the worst that could happen? I am already unemployed.