So me and The Punchbowl Girl went to China China last week for our hot date, and I haven't posted since. So here's what happened.

I show up at four like we'd arranged. You see China China has this all you can eat buffet deal. I you leave before five you are charged £5.99. If you leave before seven you're charged £7.99 and I think there's a third price but I don't know what it is.

Anyway I'm sitting there at four thinking we've an hour to stuff our faces and go somewhere else. Come half four there's no sign of The Punchbowl Girl. I'd been worrying since I arrived that she might not get there in time for us to get a good scran up.

I was starting to think she wasn't coming at all and maybe I should just get a big feed and ball my eyes out. I thought about texting her but I didn't want to blow my cool. What if she was coming. I felt like crying. I couldn't believe it. She'd come in and catch me balling into ice-cream and banana balls. Then at a quarter to five (way too late for us to get the £5.99 scran up) The Punchbowl Girl walks in looking all pretty punk rock. And when she sits down and says:

"Sorry I'm late, I suppose we could maybe get the £5.99 if we're quick."

I say:

"Take your time Punchbowl Girl I'm not cheap."

We started off on prawn toast and spare ribs and had a nice giggle watching all the other diners run for the till at five to five.

We had a nice romantic dinner for two for £7.99 a head. It was worth every penny. I'd have paid more.