A recent Reddit post sparked a debate over whether a wife crossed the line when she “followed” her husband to his doctor's appointment fearing that the doctor is a female, despite his request for privacy.
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Caring or Controlling?
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Taking to Reddit, a wife reveals how she once angered her husband by unexpectedly joining him at a doctor's appointment, claiming that as his wife, her actions were driven by genuine concern for his well-being.
She shares that her husband has been facing a few health issues in recent weeks and has been visiting the doctor's office frequently as a result.
Request for Privacy
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The wife asked if she could join him on those visits, but her husband refused, saying it wasn't necessary.
When she asked why he didn't want her to come, he replied that he preferred having privacy with his doctor.
Male or Female Doctor?
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Apparently, her husband's unwillingness to have her accompany him on doctor visits had her questioning if he was cheating on her with a female doctor.
She “jokingly” asked if his doctor happened to be a woman, prompting him to shoot her a quick glance.
Plan to Show Up at Doctor's Visit
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The husband's glance had no impact on the wife, as the wife anticipated his next doctor's appointment and decided to surprise him by showing up there.
A Surprise Visit
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The day of the appointment had arrived, and the husband went in first, only for her to enter the office just 10 minutes later and introduce herself as his wife.
Shocking Surprise
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Upon seeing his wife walk into the office unexpectedly, the husband was completely taken aback and “shocked” to discover that his wife had been planning to visit him all along.
More Surprises
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Entering the office, the wife was initially surprised to find out that the doctor was a man, having assumed it was a woman.
She greeted him before attempting to speak with her husband, who refused to respond or even make eye contact.
Husband's Anger
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As they left the office together, the husband lashed out at his wife in the car, telling her that she shouldn’t have "followed" him and came into the doctor's office after he had asked for privacy.
Wife's Justification
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She responded to her husband's anger by explaining that as his wife, she was already aware of his health issues and just wanted to show support by coming to the doctor's office with him.
Continued Frustration
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The wife's explanation didn't satisfy her husband, who felt that she had crossed a boundary and disregarded his request for privacy, which only added to his stress during this difficult time.
Seeking Validation
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The wife, on the other hand, didn’t think that her actions were a big deal and believed that her husband “overreacted,” but she was still uncertain about her judgment and sought advice from the online community to determine if she had overstepped her boundaries with her husband.
“Zero Respect”
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“You don’t have the right to invade your husband’s privacy after he requested to go alone, a “YTA” voter wrote.
“A signed piece of paper doesn’t give you the right to stalk your husband. You have zero respect for him, obviously.”
Wife's Real Motives
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One commenter found it “downright hilarious” that the wife was attempting to justify her actions by claiming that she went to the doctor with her husband out of respect and concern for him.
“Her asking him ‘jokingly’ if the doctor was a woman is a dead giveaway of what her real reasons are,” they hinted.
“Jealous and Irrational”
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“YTA,” one user commented. “First of all, he asked you not to come. That should be enough. Second, you were not there to show him support, you were there to make sure his dr wasn't a woman. You sound jealous and irrational, not to mention pushy. Major issues here.”
“Invasive and Controlling”
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“Being his wife doesn’t mean you’re entitled to breach his privacy. You‘re invasive and controlling. You need to drop that if you don’t want to risk your relationship,” argued one user.
“If I was your husband I would also have a serious word with whoever let you enter the office. Identifying as someone’s wife doesn’t mean they can enter without consent.”
“Poor Husband”
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In agreement with the prevailing sentiment, one Reddit user expressed their disapproval of the wife's actions by giving her a YTA verdict, arguing that her “poor husband” can't even go to the doctor without her “trying to control him and accuse him of cheating.”
“You don't seem to like or respect your husband very much,” they expressed.
“Uncomfortably Controlling And Gross”
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“Doctors don't care to try to seduce your husband, the doctor being a woman doesn't matter even if his problems involved needing a genital examination,” stressed one commenter.
They went on to explain, “Doctors don't hold the same standards of shame and sexuality towards the human body as most people. Also, being his wife doesn't mean anything in the medical field, he could just tell the office to never allow you to know anything from them and they would still legally have to listen.”
A Nurse's Perspective
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Another commenter shared their perspective as an RN, expressing their frustration with “frequent and gross stories” of male misbehavior in medical settings, particularly in delivery rooms.
The nurse argued that the husband's privacy should be viewed as a priority and that his wife's insistence on accompanying him to the doctor's appointment was a violation of his personal privacy, comparing it to a man bringing his mother and a video camera to the delivery room, citing the same "it's only because I care so much" justification.
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