A man finds himself caught in a dilemma, questioning whether he's being unreasonable for requesting that his girlfriend contributes more towards their rent. He feels that he's not asking for much and her refusal to pay more only makes her a “gold digger.”
Splitting Rent as a Couple
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Taking the step of moving in with a partner marks a significant turning point in any relationship - a step towards building a life together, sharing a home, and navigating the challenges and compromises that come with it. One of the most common and divisive issues that couples face when moving in together is how to split the rent.
A recent post on Reddit highlighted this dilemma, where a boyfriend and his girlfriend disagreed on how to share the cost of an apartment or townhouse near the boyfriend's workplace, given the disparity in their incomes and the boyfriend's belief that his girlfriend should pay more for the office space she plans to use.
Home Hunting
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In his Reddit post, the boyfriend shares that he and his girlfriend have been together for a year and are now searching for a 2-bedroom, 1-bathroom apartment or townhouse near his work.
The boyfriend is a second-year pathology resident with a five-year program, while his girlfriend works remotely and requires an office space.
50/50
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Despite the salary disparity, with her earning $120k and him making $68k, they've decided to split both rent and utilities equally.
Their ideal rental budget is around $1800/month, which means they'll each be paying roughly $1000/month.
Unequal Contribution
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Since the girlfriend requires one of the bedrooms as her office space, the boyfriend feels that she should contribute more towards the rent.
He thinks that he should pay $700 per month while his girlfriend should pay $1300 per month.
Girlfriend Objects
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She thinks even if she is using an extra room because living near the hospital is very expensive, he should pay half because we could get a cheaper place if he doesn’t live near work.
Equal Contribution
Despite using an extra room for her office, the girlfriend believes that they should split the rent equally because living near the hospital is costly. She thinks that they could save money by living farther away from his work, so they should share the rent equally.
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“Selfish” Girlfriend
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The boyfriend thinks she’s being selfish because she makes much more than mean, and he can “easily” make $350k+ a year once he completes his residency.
According to the girlfriend, since they're paying more to live near his work, and he doesn't have to spend money on gas, it's only fair for him to split the rent equally with her.
“She’s Being A Gold Digger”
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“To me, if she isn’t willing to pay a bit more to put some skin in the game she’s being a gold digger and waiting for me to make bank without giving anything in the first place,” the boyfriend shares.
“We argued about this a few times and I just want to know if I’m crazy in my thinking or she’s being selfish,” he asks the Reddit community.
“You're The Gold Digger”
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The boyfriend's idea of having his girlfriend pay more for the rent didn't sit well with the Reddit community, with most of them voting "YTA" in this case.
Despite calling his girlfriend a gold digger, people sided with her and agreed that as an unmarried couple, they should split the rent equally.
“You’re Being The Mooch Here”
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“That’s not how that works. For her to be a gold digger, you would actually need to have money now. Not half a decade from now, maybe,” one commenter pointed out.
“If anyone, you’re being the mooch here. If you’re only comfortable paying $700, find a place worth $1400. She’s obligated to pay half, but no more. If you have a problem with that, break up. YTA.”
“Be Glad She's Helping You”
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“Do you know how many women have supported men through med school to be left after the man starts making money?” one user hinted. “I don't blame her at all.”
“She's now having to pay more in rent cause you wanted to live closer to your work. Sounds like she was fine with living somewhere cheaper. She wanted an office. Seems pretty fair and even to me! Pay half the rent and be glad she's helping you with your high cost want.”
“It's Unfair”
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“YTA,” agreed another Redditor. “And she's absolutely right that it's unfair to wait 3 years to ‘potentially get paid back’ because you're not guaranteed that salary.”
“Also, calling her a gold digger while also wanting her to pay more. She's asking you to pay half, while she pays half. The only one asking someone to pay more than half is you. Who's the gold digger?”
“Fair” Solution
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“Normally, I would say you should split rent in proportion to your income, but it sounds as though you have picked a more expensive area based on what is convenient for you. If you lived in a less expensive area it sounds as though your gf would be more willing to negotiate on paying more,” wrote another user.
They suggested, “If it’s important for you to save money, then you need to compromise on the area. If you must live in that specific area, then you need to pay half. It seems fair to me. YTA.”
“You'll Lose In The Long Run”
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“YTA. Purely because you think that she's a gold digger,” voted another user. They criticized the OP's expectation for his girlfriend to pay more for the rent, pointing out that he's living near the hospital for his needs, while she isn’t living in her ideal neighborhood or a luxurious mansion.
“Because you played this game, you'll lose in the long run because that 70/30 split in her favour looks really different when you make x3 times what you do now.”
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