4. God is all that can satisfy your longing.
Satan and our own flesh try so hard to promise fulfillment in anything but God. We enter this world realizing that there is a piece of us missing and most spend their entire life trying to find it. We search for it in relationships, financial gain, and, for some of us, in motherhood. That is why we become so consumed with our desire to have a child—because we feel we need it to be whole. We become convinced that it is what will fill the void we have discovered in our heart. Here are the facts: that void, that emptiness, that feeling of being incomplete, those are all there for one specific reason. There is a part of all humanity that was left void by sin. Some have described it as a “God-shaped hole”. However you choose to look at it, it is a void that only God can fill, and Satan has made it his mission to get you to fill it with anything else. The desire to be a mother is a God-given desire, but when it overwhelms your desire for God it becomes toxic. The truth is, even if you get pregnant and give birth to a healthy baby, those feelings of emptiness will eventually return. What results is frustration and bitterness—directed at your own child, because she cannot fulfill the expectations you have placed on her.
I experienced this first hand after we adopted our daughter, Isabella. I was certain that her presence in my life would soothe that nagging emptiness I had felt. For a time, it did, but it was not long before I felt it returning. Suddenly, she wasn’t enough. I needed more. I began to get frustrated with her as an expression of my disappointment in her inability to fulfill my longing. I had placed such a heavy burden on someone so little. I had set an expectation that she was incapable of fulfilling—that any child was incapable of fulfilling. I expected her to be for me what only God could be, and when she couldn’t, began to take out my discontent on her. It was an injustice to her. In His mercy, God opened my eyes to what was going on. Had He not, I feel certain that I would done serious, though unintentional, damage to the precious life God had entrusted to me. A child cannot fill the emptiness you feel, even if you think that emptiness is because you don’t have one. The day I finally understood this, I wept. Only God could completely fulfill me, and He has. He was a perfect fit.
“There are three things that are never satisfied— no, four that never say, "Enough!": the grave, the barren womb, the thirsty desert, the blazing fire.” Proverbs 30:15-16
"Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life." John 4:13-14
“When you open your hand, you satisfy the hunger and thirst of every living thing.” Psalms 145:16
5. You need to find contentment in where you are now.
This truth is closely related to number four, but it is important enough to make it its own point. If your days are spent dreaming of a child, obsessing over which medication you could try next, or which procedure might work for you, you will find it difficult to feel content. Not just difficult, impossible. Feelings of discontent add further frustration to an already frustrating situation. Once you surrender to the fact that your emptiness can only be satisfied by God, you will begin to find contentment in who you are, and what you already have. Take a moment to stop and think about all that you’ve already been blessed with—family, husband, home, close friends—whatever you have, rejoice in it, and in the fact that the Creator of the universe has called you His own. Children will eventually grow up and leave, but your relationship with your God will remain long after the kids are gone. If your relationship with Him is your focus, you will find contentment. Not contentment to stay put, but contentment in the fact that He is all you need to be satisfied. Learn to say, like the apostle Paul, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances” (Philippians 4:11)
