Bitterness is our obsession with our own hurt. It is choosing to live in a state of pain for the rest of our lives instead of seeking out the joy and peace God desires for us. Looking at it that way, it seems absurd that anyone would choose such a fate, but some of you have done just that. I once heard that Bitterness is rooted in hate, psychologically linked to the same emotion that results in murder or suicide. That is a powerful and disturbing thought. If you recognize that you are mired down in bitterness, resolve yourself now to the task of removing it from your life.
Let’s visit some important truths in regards to bitterness.
1. First, you need to realize how vital it is that you remove bitterness from your life.
It’s already been said: bitterness destroys lives. It destroys marriages and it destroys families. But, bitterness is also comfortable. It becomes familiar. It makes a person feel self-important and in control. This can be the most difficult part to let go of. When we’ve walked through a situation in which we had no control, the feeling of being able to control our own anger is tantalizing. It makes us feel powerful when, in fact, it is stripping us of our very life, making us weaker by the day.
2. God is not the author of your pain.
We discussed this somewhat in chapter one. God does not inflict pain into our lives as a method of testing our loyalty to Him. He doesn’t need to. The very fallen, sin-filled world we live in thrives on death and destruction, and heaps it upon every chance it gets. There are many people who would vehemently disagree with me on this point, but I reference only the very nature of God to draw this conclusion. He is good. He is love. He is light. He is a Creator, not a destroyer. He sent His own Son to bring us life. If God was the bringer of death and heartache then they would have existed in the world from the beginning. But they didn’t. They entered the scene with our Enemy, and when we invited him to stay, so, too, did they.
The hardest thing to deal with in any life is the question of why. Why did this terrible thing happen to me? If you don’t believe in a higher power, then your answer is simply because it is in the very nature of existence. A bleak, and hopeless outlook. But, if you do believe in the existence of an all-powerful, all-knowing Creator, your question of “why” is bound to be conflicting. If God is all-powerful then why didn’t He stop this from happening? How many times I asked that myself. I didn’t believe that God killed my baby, but I didn’t understand why He didn’t intervene when I knew He could have.
If I’m going to be honest with you—and I have no choice but to be—I am still searching for the answer to that question, as billions before me have done. There comes a point in life when we have to mature in our faith and accept the fact that there are some things we may never fully understand, not matter how badly we want to. This is one of those subjects. God invites us, however, to seek Him in these matters, to search out His heart and His comfort, and He promises that we will find peace in Him, with or without the answer we were looking for.
"'In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,’ says the Lord. ‘I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes.’” Jeremiah 29:12-13
I love the end of that verse: “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes”. Bitterness certainly keeps us held captive in its grip. It keeps us from moving forward, from progressing past our hurts. Only the strength of God can set us free; and not only does he give us back our freedom, but He restores our “fortune”—the worth and value a life of bitterness strips away from us. He reminds us that we are His, and He is ours, forever.
