This is not my typical positive post but I feel it's important to share with you ups and downs of life. I recently went back home to visit my parents and be there for them when they needed me most as someone very close to our hearts left us so unexpectedly. Events like this happen every day but when it happens to you, it’s all of a sudden a different story. It makes you think about your life, your past, presence and future.
I've been a very lucky child as I mostly only knew death from tales. First time I experienced this devastating feeling was when I was a child and my grandpa's german shephard died. You must understand, we were inseparables and he was the best buddy a little girl could wish for.
I cried every night for a year....
Second time was a tough one. I had a greatgrandpa who was 86 years old when he decided it was his time to pass from this world. It was the second day of Christmas and I was about 12 years old. He was my best friend and the day before he died he didn't recognise me. This will be forever marked in my brain...along with all those happy memories.
I cried every night for a year....
Third time was a difficult one. I was no longer a child and it was my dog. My Benny. I always say he was too young as he was only 9 years old when he got ill and 10 years old when he could no longer cope with the pain. His Heart was too big, his lungs were filling with water and it was difficult for him to breath....I like to say he died of a big heart. He loved us all and we all loved him unconditionally.
I still cry...
Last month my grandpa died....
...and I'm still waiting for someone to explain WHY...? How can someone who was so strong all of a sudden go? I knew my grandpa was ill, but I just always thought...or I naively assumed...he would get better. He wasn't your typical grandpa you see. He travelled the world, he lived in Australia for 6 months when he was in his 60s, built 3 houses in his life whilst working full time, he knew his way around the internet and technology. How can someone who's so full of life suddenly go?
I still cry...
Death is a painful experience that will never stop . In situations like this it's important to have support around you. The closer, the better. You might feel like you've lost your heart. You need someone who will look after you and your broken heart whilst you're trying to cope with such a huge loss. You also need to be that someone for the ones that you love because in times like these, they need you. Love won't solve anything but it will make it better...
I want to believe they are all together, watching over us. They're my angels waiting for me to join them one day 💓
If there is one thing I would want you take away from reading this post is: Be more aware of yourself, take a note of your desires and needs, take a step back and listen to your body. Every single one of us has something to fulfil, something that completes us.
If you have a vision, breath life into it, grab your fate and be the one who takes the first step. It’s not an easy job but once you try it, I promise you will not want to leave the ride. It’s exhilarating, exhausting, there will be ups and downs, but it will be worth it in the end. You can do it and I believe in you!
I will wholeheartedly keep my fingers crossed for you.
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Yours truly,
Dash xx
