I was born a big, well fed 3.6 kilo baby. From that moment on I was never big ever again. My mom could not produce enough milk for me and after a while I ended up being so Thin the doctor called it a certain stage of “dystrophia”. That was fixed with milk powders, but as a few year old I ended up having rubella that got me so weak and thin, that to this day my mother remembers how we went out for our first walk after I was feeling better and the wind literally blew me away and I started to move away from her because I could not resist it. 

Most of my life I have been thin, but I have been judged for my Body the same way as others, and I have been told mean things in person and over the internet. I have been called sick, anorexic, unhealthy, a druggie, a stick, I was told I had no ass and no boobs and that there is nothing to grab on me and “men like material to hold”. Skinny shaming has always been looked at as “ok”, since “It is just a joke, because you are so lucky and thin”. It is not bullying! Except it is!

“You should be quite, you are thin anyhow”

“You should eat”

“Do they even feed you?”

“You are just bones with no meat”

It never felt that good, even though I was the “lucky” thin girl. Mostly because I was shamed as unhealthy and someone who does not eat. Some people eat when they are stressed, some lose their appetite and starve. I was always somewhere in the middle and usually ate less than normal when I was not in my best state.

WE SHOULD REALISE THAT SOME PEOPLE ACTUALLY STRUGGLE TO GAIN WEIGHT, NOT LOSE IT.

At home while living with my family, we have always fed quite healthy. None of us liked greasy food, there were always vegetables and fruits and I have always enjoyed a good meal that made me very happy and satisfied. I always loved to eat and I still LOOOOVE it.

Today society has shifted towards curvy Women and women of all shapes to be glorified for their beauty, their honesty and their realness. This is a fantastic thing, where women of all bigger shapes are finally celebrated and it helped a lot of women feel much better about themselves.

Our society can never glorify two ends. So while the shift happened, thin girls on covers are shamed and often removed to not show an “incorrect image”. Thin women currently are labeled fake expectation vs reality and that is just not right either. Nobody should ever feel shame for being in a body. ANY BODY.

I worked in the fashion industry for quite a bit, and most models that I knew personally, had really great relationships with their bodies (eating very healthy, exercising) have been shamed so often in front of me. To this day a model is always a person who “starves herself”.

WE SHOULD ALL LEARN TO APPRECIATE OURSELVES, BECAUSE THIS IS THE FIRST STEP AND THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP TO SELF LOVE AND REAL HAPPINESS.

While we approached the world of accepting the bigger girls, there are still huge amounts of women brainwashed into diet culture, suffering with all sorts of fasts to lose/gain a few kilos to look “better”, while fucking up their health doing so.

That said, I have aged. And that ageing brought many changes to my body, one of them being the fact that I can no longer eat 4 full meals (if i ever wanted to) a day and not get it collected around my waist.

You can not “eat burgers all day” because “this makes you happy”. This kind of new wave thinking is as unhealthy as diet culture. You have to have a balance, the kind of balance that makes you and your body happy. Together.

I have learned to respect my body, for the fact that it was always good to me. I never get sick, my pms is easy peasy most of the time, I never suffered with any major issues, and I never had to diet. And with this respect by the time the changes have come I learned to have a really healthy relationship with food and I believe this is the key.

THERE IS A NEED OF MUTUAL RESPECT AND IT IS UP TO YOU TO TAKE THE BEST CARE OF YOUR BODY, THAT TAKES SO MUCH CARE OF YOU!

It is not a surprise that most women suffer with self esteem issues. We are being taught standards. We are being told how to dress, how not to dress. How much body to show, or how little. And no wonder we are all very confused as to what is right or wrong. What should be done is all of us accepting each other as we are, but obviously there is a long road ahead.

Judging will always be part of who we are. Comparing and talking about each other. This is our upbringing. We are not taught in schools what we should really do. How energy vibrations work, and how much harm you cause yourself by not working on self-love and spending any time on envy. How weight does not define our worth, how special and unique we all are. So we are left to find these out ourselves, so be open minded and search! There are so many books on acceptance that help you become a better person, a calmer person, a happier person. I wish one day that would be a norm and this would be taught by parents and at schools.

Here is the most basic, but also the best book you can read that talks actions to self love and letting go of all the unneeded energies:

Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender: David R. Hawkins MD

KISS KISS BANG BANG

by Zhenya

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