Hey, it's been a month (almost) I can explain... It's been a tough year for me my head has not been in the right place for a number of reasons. I have finally come to the conclusion that I was so trapped in my Relationship I had no life, no friends no nothing other than constant arguments, guilt and fear! It is still such a rubbish time for me although I know this is the right decision for me, there is still the memories, pictures and thoughts that are haunting me everyday. I didn't want to write this post for sympathy as I was passed that phase after the first day. I wanted to write it to help other people in my situation, as it is sh*t.

My friends and family told me for months that he wasn't good for me, I can do better and that I shouldn't feel like this constantly. However I was so "in love" I didn't even realise how truthful they were all being. It is so hard to admit to someone you love that their not right for you, admitting they're making you feel awful especially when you wear your heart on your sleeve, and would never want to make anyone sad...

I found this while looking for some inspiration for this post, I understand saying a relationship/person is toxic is a big thing and realising yourself is even more of a bigger deal! However all I have done recently is defend this person treating me like trash when really I was in a toxic relationship..

Here are some signs to look out for when assessing whether you are in a toxic or harmful relationship:

• You don’t feel good enough. You feel like nothing you do is quite right and are constantly trying to prove your worth. You constantly seek the other person’s validation.
• You can’t be yourself. You feel you have to walk on eggshells and monitor everything you say and do. You feel you need to think twice before you speak as certain topics are off limits, and you feel you have to act or behave a certain way. You’re afraid to bring things up because you’re not sure how the other person will react.
• The other person puts you down.
• You feel like the problem. The other person doesn’t take responsibility for their actions and instead blames you. They attribute any problems or difficulties in the relationship as all your fault.
• You start to withdraw from participating in activities or seeing people in your life.